Orando Laborando
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Maura is invited to the 500th anniversary of her boarding school. When ghosts from the past begin to reappear all around, the scientist is in full doubt: will she manage to overcome it alone or will she need Jane by her side? J/M Fic.
1. Prologue

_**Author's note: just a quick message to let you know that I will update the story every two days.**_

**Prologue**

The feminine voice on the microphone faded away and soon enough the brouhaha of the terminal came back all around Jane. Squinting her eyes at the card she was holding, the detective focused on the gold letters – their complex typeface – and the high quality of the paper the invitation had been printed on.

_Alumni Dr. Maura Dorthea Isles – and guest_

_Invitation for the 500th anniversary of Rugby School_

_From July, 19th to July, 29th _

_House: Rupert Brooke_

The medical examiner hadn't been much talkative about the event even if she had had to RSVP quite a long time ago already and now that Jane attempted a glimpse at her friend's boarding school, too many questions were rushing to the brunette's mind to ever ask any. Besides, the boarding of Maura's flight could start at any moment now.

"_O Captain! My Captain!_"

The honey blonde's lips curled up in an amused smile as a thin line appeared on her forehead, showing rather clearly her surprise. Chin leaned against the palm of her hand, Maura laughed.

"_Our fearful trip is done... Our ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won..._"

At a mock of pure confusion slid and embraced the brunette's face, Maura frowned. Perplexed. If there was a poem by Walt Whitman she knew by heart, it had to be that one. And yet her friend was staring at her as if she had lost her mind, made a blatant mistake over the lines.

"This ain't a literature pop quiz, Maur'. I was just referring to _The Dead Poets Society. _It looks like your boarding school is coming straight from the movie."

As if to strengthen her argument, Jane turned the invitation towards her friend and pointed out directly at the couple of pictures that illustrated the card. One of them was a classic shot of _The Close_ – a well known field where rugby had been invented back in the 19th century - while another one was a montage of several buildings in the most classic Tudor style.

"Oh. Well, I suppose there might be a similarity between both schools although isn't the movie taking place in The United States? Rugby School is in Warwickshire, England."

New message on the microphone, this time to announce the imminent boarding of the scientist's flight. Casting a glance around at busy Logan International Airport, Jane nodded absentmindedly. It was a tad stupid to say the least but deep inside, she felt disappointed by the fact Maura hadn't invited her.

_And guest._

The word kept on twirling around Jane's head, bumping into the mystery of the reason why the blonde had decided to travel to England on her own instead. After all, they had both attended the Italian's high school reunion so wouldn't have it been fair to return the... The detective pouted. Was it really a favor in the end? As much as Maura was quite singular, she probably saw such an event as a torture; like any other alumni.

"I should go now."

Almost excusing herself, the scientist stood up and grabbed her leather travel bag. Jane nodded and left a couple of bills on the table – insisting quietly to pay their coffees – before walking by her friend's side towards the boarding area. A few more steps and she would say goodbye to Maura.

For ten days.

It was a ridiculously short amount of time but in spite of her desperate attempt to reason herself, Jane had a hard time accepting it. They had never spent more than a few days apart since they had become friends and truth to be told, the Italian had got accustomed to it. Too much perhaps but still. She would miss Maura and she knew it.

"Here we are!"

Her attempt to sound enthusiastic failed miserably as they stopped by the security zone but Maura did not seem to notice anything or at least she didn't show it and nodded instead. She was smiling, out of politeness. As usual. At times Jane wished the honey blonde stopped hiding behind the conventionalism she had grown with.

There was nothing wrong in letting the whole world understand that things didn't sound exciting, that one wasn't happy.

"There is... Err... I have something for you. Nothing big, it's probably even stupid and maybe I should skip that part but oh... Damn."

Sunglasses on top of her head, Maura widened her eyes in surprise before her friend's sudden nervous behavior. Jane was dancing on her feet – her cheeks as red as bricks – while her voice kept on shaking.

"Ma'am?"

The scientist rose her hand up in the air to stop the employee – offering him a furtive smile – and not losing much time she focused back on the Italian who was now holding a paper neatly folded.

"Don't open it now. Wait to be all these zillion feet up in the sky or maybe don't open it at all. Gosh, I don't even know why I'm giving you that piece of shit anyway."

Fingers brushed others and before she had a chance to ask for an explanation, Maura found herself with the sheet of paper in hand. Jane hugged her tight – quickly enough though – then passed a hand through her unruly hair.

"Safe your journey, Maur'. And... And remember that an ocean separating both continents is nothing. A call and it's like I'm here. Well, almost. Have fun in _Jolly Old England!_"

Jane disappeared in a whirl, as fast as she had showed up at Maura's door a few hours earlier to drive her to the airport. Taken aback, the medical examiner turned around and nodded at the employee then tended him her ticket. She passed the security doors and walked up to her boarding gate in silence.

Rugby School. Founded in the 16th century and recognized now as one of the most prestigious boarding schools of England.

"_Orando Laborando..._"

_By praying, by working. _The Latin motto of the school slid on Maura's lips in a whispered reminiscence of years spent out there – in the British countryside – behind the walls of knowledge and excellence.

A strict education that had left scars on the person she was now.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?"

Jumping back to reality, the blonde blinked at a flight attendant who – all smile – was politely waiting by the door of the plane. Obviously the scientist's murmur hadn't been covered by the buzzing sound of the aircraft.

The realization made Maura blush slightly. She shook her head – showed her ticket to the woman – and stepped inside; heading to her seat. Leaving Boston behind.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Author's note: Merry Christmas to everyone, I'm sorry I didn't post anything yesterday but the site didn't work... Thank you all for your reviews, it's always a pleasure to read them!**_

**Chapter one**

Soon, the buildings of Boston disappeared and heavy clouds replaced the distant landscape in its usual monochrome of whiteness. If Maura had never minded flying, things had started changing when a certain detective had made it into her life and leaving Boston was now a hard task to deal with.

She owed a lot to Jane, if not just everything. In the secrecy of her soul, the honey blonde considered her friend as some sort of savior. A light she had been subconsciously looking for year after year in spite of a resignation that had begun to weight on her shoulders for failing over and over.

Then it had happened and her existence had tipped over. Gradually – maybe – but now her days had nothing to do with that past she had carried along in silence.

"Would you like some drink?"

The flight attendant offered a polite smile as Maura turned around and fixed her hazel eyes on her, the inner thoughts fading in the distance. It was still early in the day but the medical examiner still nodded and accepted a glass of wine before relaxing in her leather seat.

Traveling first class had its advantages.

One. Two. Three. With an utter indecision, the scientist cast a glance at the sheet of paper she had left on her table. Jane's message was still neatly folded. Waiting more or less patiently in a corner. Biting her thumb, Maura made a face and chewed her lower lip. When was she supposed to open it, exactly? The Italian hadn't been much precise on the number of feet nor on the localization of the aircraft now the blonde thought about it.

And what were the contents of it?

A moan of frustration slid on her lips and in a gesture of impatience, her perfectly manicured fingers grabbed the paper. She unfolded it.

_Maura,_

_If you aren't a cyborg deprived of any curiosity, you must be reading this letter somewhere between Boston and London. With a glass of wine in hand, should I add. You know I'm not much of a good talker so I thought I'd write you a message instead._

_A high-school reunion – or an anniversary for that matter – isn't easy for anyone. Gosh you probably remember how mine went; from the beginning to the end. Not that I wish you to land a murder case but if that ever happens, please keep in mind that England isn't your jurisdiction. _

_Anyway... Murders apart... I know your school years are far behind and that you're about to plunge back into all of this and just like anyone – if you're still not a cyborg – you can't stand that. _

_Besides, you're alone while for my high school reunion, you were by my side. _

_I never got a chance to thank you for that. Instead, I turned into my usual grumpy mode and one more time I missed the occasion to tell you how I appreciated your gesture. And perhaps, I should have told you – or even insisted – on coming with you, this time around. _

_I know you were that weird kid who had no friend but her books and if your classmates don't know it, I do: you're an incredible woman, now. Smart, unique. My best friend. And I apologize for not being there to support you throughout that trip back to not-so-pleasant times. _

_You didn't say anything about it, didn't complain. But I know you, Maura. And I know that deep inside, you're in full doubts. Don't be. Put on your high heels – chin up – and go prove to everyone what they missed by not befriending you at the time. _

_Also, if one of these preppy – duchess thing – comes and tries to harm you, remember the boxing class I gave you two weeks ago. Yes you might damage her throat or whatever you call that but nobody has to mess up with you. _

_Don't let them do or else they will hear from me. Oh, and you too. _

_And one more time... If you ever feel alone and blah blah blah – gosh, even that I can't write about it properly – call me. Please. I'm never far from you. Screw the time zone difference._

_Enjoy your stay in England, Maura. And if you ever start wondering why you accepted to go there in the first place, remember the scorching heat Boston is having. The cooler temperatures of Europe are definitely a bonus._

_Take care, Maur'. We're going to miss you, here. I am going to miss you._

_Jane._

Looking by the window of the plane, Maura focused on a strip of blue that pierced through the clouds. She smiled, touched by Jane's letter even if utterly surprised. The brunette had never addressed her so formally until now. She had showed concern more than once but not so much; not like that.

And it took Maura aback.

If she had to be completely honest, the medical examiner would recognize that she had hesitated before RSVP-ing by the affirmative to the school invitation. It had taken her a lot of time to finally leave behind all these years spent in England and build a semblance of life out of it. Going back to Rugby School made her nervous.

The medical examiner closed her eyes and rested her head on the seat. It was when her yoga lessons had to kick it, when her breathing exercises had to finally pay off outside of a practice room. Blindly, she searched for her MP3 in her travel bag and soon enough the first notes of classical music made it to her ears.

How long again till London? And then the train that would cross the countryside – ghosts from the past floating around – as the lump in her throat would grow bigger and bigger. She had made the journey a lot of times – more than she could actually remember – but none of them had petrified her as much as this one.

Uncertainty began to weigh on her mind and before noticing it herself, she had grabbed her cell phone. Out of automatism, she scrolled down to Jane's number and went for a text message until she realized that she wasn't allowed to send anything.

"Shit!"

Frustrated, she put back the device in her bag and focused on the clouds. Perhaps it was better like that. What would Jane think about her if she called within an hour after having left Boston? It would definitely sound like a desperate – ridiculous – move and the last thing she wanted was to pass for a clingy person to the Italian. The brunette might have told her to call any time, Maura knew there were implicit limits to not cross.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews; feel free to keep them coming, it's a pleasure to read and answer to them.**_

**Chapter two**

Rugby was a small town - a rather typical British one - and as Maura stepped off the train before taking a taxi, she realized that nothing had really changed since the last time she had come there.

The years had passed by on the buildings – bringing a singular shade to the bricks – but the shops were still the same ones; old, as if frozen in time.

Before the sudden reminiscence of her own past life, the scientist closed her eyes. Swallowed hard. She had walked through these streets, cried and laughed; shared a stolen kiss at the corner of High Street on a rainy winter day; such a long time ago that she wondered if the memory did belong to reality and wasn't just the product of some fantasy.

They passed Saint Andrew's Church and another series of images rushed to her mind. Darker ones that sent a shiver down her spine. The smell of wax, the abrupt sound of a wooden ruler landing on a desk as a nun whose face had become blurry with the passing of time asked for silence.

The New Testament being whispered in the coldness of the school chapel as menacing eyes stared at the assembly.

But even back then, Maura's fear hadn't been nourished by the adults. Some of them had been attentive and passionate enough for her to still remember them now. No. Trouble and insomnia came from the other pupils. Her classmates. A cruel game of mockery and humiliation. Some would have felt strengthened by such experience, others weakened by it. The honey blonde laid somewhere in between. She had got accustomed so much to the critics that indifference had ended up winning.

"Orando Laborando."

The taxi driver's voice resounded loud in the car as his comment surprised Maura. She intended a pale smile – more out of politeness than anything else – and nodded.

"Did you graduate from Rugby School yourself?"

If so, the man was probably the only one who hadn't embraced medicine – law – or politics. A laugh – and a thick Warwickshire accent – welcomed her question.

"Gosh nah. But one can't live in Rugby without knowing the motto of that school."

The driver pointed out at the school sign as they passed the gates of the prestigious educative center. Maura's heartbeats sped up – her hands getting moist – as a lump began to grow in her throat echoing the knot in her stomach.

If uncertainty had reigned until now, doubts had finally vanished to let her understand that she should have stayed in Boston instead of plunging head first in the exact reason of her social inabilities.

One more curb and the car stopped.

"Here we are, ma'am. Enjoy your stay and remember a pint is offered at _The Arnold Arms_ for all the Rugby School alumni in honor of the 500th anniversary."

The taxi disappeared in a cloud of dust, almost too fast to the scientist's taste. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and stared at the building in front of her.

The Rupert Brooke House stood on Horton Crescent and was incidentally the place where Maura had spent her years as well. The school counted sixteen houses, non-mixed. But for the special occasion and since pupils had left for the summer - replaced by adults only - the honey blonde crossed a couple of men on her way inside the lobby.

"Welcome back home. Please fill this form while I register your ID. You are..."

A blonde in her thirties smiled at Maura from behind the reception desk; over the brouhaha of a group that had settled on the couches of the lobby to chat enthusiastically.

"Maura. My name is Maura Isles. Dr. Maura Dorthea Isles..."

She was taking her passport out of her bag when a high-pitched voice calling her name out loud in her back made her jump of surprise.

"Maura? Maura Isles?"

The scientist turned around. If she had owned Jane's outspokenness, she would have probably said that one of the meanest girls alive was standing in her front of her with a disconcerting smile but as usual, Maura didn't say a word. She just smiled back. Awkwardly enough.

"Leonore. What a pleasure to see you again. How are you doing?"

Leonore Whiteman was the daughter of a powerful British businessman. She had married her longtime boyfriend – after his graduation from Law School – only to see him become her father's associate. This kind of situation wasn't a cliched at Rugby. It was a mere, plain reality.

"Charles and I are doing fine. We have just moved to Belgravia, our house by Holland Park had turned a bit too small. You know how it is: three children and all of a sudden, you realize that you need a full time live-in _au pair_. How about you? Any... Anything?"

Unsure of the way she was supposed to take the question, Maura tightened her grip on her leather bag and surprised herself looking around for help; moral support. For Jane. But she was on her own this time.

Cruelly alone.

"I live in Boston, now. I am the Chief Medical Examiner of the State of Massachusetts which... Takes a lot of my time. It is a very demanding job."

She didn't miss Leonore's reaction. The way her smile froze as a veil of latent panic settled over her green eyes. Seconds slowed down and began to weigh heavily between both women, making them rather uncomfortable.

"Oh."

The exclamation didn't highlight the slightest bit of enthusiasm but a sentiment that laid more between disgust and incomprehension. Leonore made a step backwards – nodded – then left.

"Wacko..."

It might have been whispered, the scientist still heard the remark indirectly addressed to her. The words passed underneath her skin – ran through her veins – before settling down in her heart; making it ache.

"Room 207. Welcome back home, Maura."

_Home. _The honey blonde accepted the key in silence and took the elevators up to the second floor. This wasn't her home. She might have thought the contrary at some point but now that she had moved to Boston, she could say that Rugby School had only been a halt in her life. And nothing else.

A home rhymed with love – warmth – and care. This was hardly the definition she could give of Rupert Brook House.

To an extent and once the door was closed behind her, her dorm room could be considered as a shelter; the only place around where nobody came to humiliate her. And yet...

Suddenly, the time zone difference started kicking in and in a gesture of exhaustion – of slight distress – the medical examiner abandoned one of her suitcases in the small working area made of a desk, a coffee table and a sofa. She took the other one to the bed and let herself fall down on the mattress.

Her stilettos landed loudly on the hardwood floor. She grabbed her cell phone, smiled while pressing the button to Jane's number. Her friend's hoarse voice didn't take long to fill the space between them both. Now that was _home._


	4. Chapter 3

_**Author's note: thank you again for all the reviews, I hope you keep on enjoying the story so far.**_

**...**

**Chapter three **

"Good morning, detective."

As usual, Maura's attempt to sound casual and funny failed miserably but she nonetheless kept up the smile that was embracing her features if only to add a little light to her tone of voice that she knew to be quite sad; disappointed. She could hardly hide her feelings, no matter what. And right now, nothing was going alright.

"Hey, Maur'... What's up?"

The honey blonde opened her mouth to reply but stopped halfway as she heard voices around Jane; in the background. She frowned – checked her watch again – then rose an eyebrow, piqued by curiosity.

"You are already at work? Has something happened?"

The Italian wasn't on call that week – Maura knew it – yet it seemed obvious that Jane wasn't in her Back Bay apartment anymore in spite of the quite early hours. Subconsciously, the blonde tightened her grip on the phone. Her heart beating faster.

"Yeah... Well, you know. I was awake so I arrived a tad earlier and had coffee here with ma'."

The medical examiner nodded – as if her friend could see her – then rolled on her side to face the large window by her bed. The sky was turning gray while the wind had started to blow, making the leaves of the trees dance a singular choreography. Maura shivered and repressed a sigh.

"Oh, I see. So, how are things going in Boston? Fine, I hope."

Jane shushed someone around – probably Frost or Korsak – before clearing her voice and focusing on the phone call again. It made Maura smile. These people were her family. She had grown accustomed to them, to their voices and tempers. She missed them deeply.

"Same old routine, here. Scorching heat, lots of paper work to do... The AC is broken. See, for once everyone volunteers to go down to the morgue! How about you? How's the reunion going?"

Maura's throat tightened at the question as uncontrollable tears began to water her eyes. If only she had no issue to lie, to pretend that things were alright. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. Looking for the right words wasn't complicated. She was used to it. Too much, probably.

"It is err... I am fine. I don't think I will do much for the rest of the day though, I am a bit tired. But it is surely... Different, to be here."

A long pause followed during which a thousand wonders fought against each other in Maura's head only to be defeated by a quiet panic as Jane remained silent; her breath coming by waves on the phone.

Had she said something wrong to her? Breathing loud, the scientist sat up and let her eyes scan the room in search of anything that would soothe her. In vain. Rugby School had never seemed so cold.

"Maura, are you okay? Be honest. Please."

The brunette sounded concerned. She had lowered her voice – as if to create some sort of intimacy in spite of the distance and the public surrounding she was in – while her tone had seemed a tad shaky.

The tears were now running quietly on Maura's cheeks, burning the skin; drowning her lips in a river of bitterness. She wanted nothing but to go back home – to Boston – then draw a line under the ridiculous idea she had had to come to England on her own. Swallowing back a sob and fixing her eyes on one of the corners of the ceiling, she timidly nodded.

"I am fine."

A more urging voice resounded loud in the background, soon followed by a rush Maura had learned to recognize through the years. Jane confirmed it immediately.

"Looks like we're called on Beacon Hill. Gotta go, Maura... Sorry... But... You're okay, right? Really?"

The honey blonde intended to reassure her friend for the second time but as she put an end to the call and looked around, the oppressive feeling of loneliness that had inhabited her during her school years seemed to rush back to her without any warning. And there she was. Suddenly. The old Maura she had hoped forgotten and gone; lacking self-confidence, misunderstood. Lost.

Thunder pierced somewhere in the countryside as the rain began to fall hard on the ground.

Since the activities scheduled for the school anniversary didn't start before the very next day, Maura had the whole afternoon off. She could have gone for a walk through the park – or even downtown – but the sudden bad weather made her stick to her room and after a quick shower, she settled on the couch.

Book in hand, a warm woolen blanket on her shoulders. Just as she used to, way back then.

She sighed. Some things would never change.

…

A sound took her out of her agitated dreams. A loud knock on the door, constant. Repetitive. Had she overslept? Her watch indicated 10am.

She had gone to bed early the night before, for being tired and not having much people to talk to either. After a frugal dinner in the house kitchen, she had retreated to her room and nobody had tried to reach her in any way whatsoever; as if she had fallen back in this world of indifference, just like when she was still a student.

Still a bit asleep and jet lagged, the blonde opened the door. Froze; unsure it wasn't just a dream.

"Jeez you sleep like a log when in England or you drank yourself out last night? I thought you'd never open that freaking door."

Sunglasses on, Jane stepped inside and threw her travel bag in a corner. The Italian's exuberance didn't match Rugby School at all. The educative center was all about quietness and discretion when Maura's friend was the opposite. In a very animated state and still lost in an endless monologue of some sort, the detective abandoned her shoes on the floor as she made her way to the bedroom area.

"That cockney accent is just the worst thing ever. I swear I couldn't understand anyone in London when I bought my train ticket to that Rugby Town. Looks lovely by the way. A tad rainy but hey, it's not the Bahamas. England isn't famous for its sun. Is that the bed?"

Still speechless before such unexpected entrance, Maura nodded as Jane pointed out the unmade mattress that still carried hints of her rough night.

In the same frenzy, the brunette took her jeans off and stepped into the bed before settling under the blanket. Her sunglasses still on.

"I'm totally jet lagged, wake me up at 4pm... Or whenever tea time is, here. I'm sure there's tea time at some point, right? Good night."

Taken aback. Maura was completely taken aback by the scene that had just happened but as she stared at her friend falling asleep and she realized that it wasn't just a dream, a relieved smile played on her lips. She wasn't alone anymore.

Quietly, the blonde turned around and headed to the bathroom but Jane's voice stopped her again.

A soft, warm whisper embracing the coldness of the room on a rainy British morning.

"It's nice to see you, Maur'."


	5. Chapter 4

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews and I wish you all a happy new year.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter four**

"Jane? Jane... Wake up..."

She hadn't had a single dream. Instead, she had slept plainly; blankly.

Yet the first thing she noticed as her consciousness brought her back to reality turned out to be Maura's fingers passing through her hair in successive – soft – caresses. The blonde's voice rocking her softly.

A moan passed her lips and everything stopped as she opened her eyes then came to face nothing but the scientist's bright smile. Maura was standing there – only a few inches away – barely hiding the thrill behind her hazel eyes.

"Is it time for the cucumber sandwiches?"

Still half-asleep, Jane sat up and studied the room she had barely cast a glance at when she had literally stormed in a few hours earlier. The place was cozy – classic – with a breathtaking view over The Field, the green area where rugby had been invented if she remembered well the reading of all the papers she had printed about the school before leaving Boston without any warning.

Mesmerized by the weight of History, the Italian barely heard Maura burst out laughing at her remark and squinted her eyes as she saw a small group walk towards a large building, a bit further on her right.

"Tea time at Rugby's is classic but not to this extent. I am afraid that you will only find scones in your plate. You have thirty minutes to get ready. Punctuality is paramount, here."

In the rustle of her cotton dress, Maura headed towards the couch and settled there under Jane's eyes as the brunette finally took off her sunglasses. A pale smile appeared on the detective's lips. She had not noticed until then how her friend had opted for an unusual type of clothing. As a matter of fact, it was the first time that Jane saw Maura wear casual clothes, summer ones.

The ankle-length white dress was flimsy and embraced the honey blonde's movements with delicacy. The result was lovely, made the scientist look like a ghost coming straight from a Jane Austen novel.

"I wasn't kidding when I told you about punctuality, Jane. If you want to have a shower, you should go now. Really."

The brunette nodded – ran to her travel bag – before jumping literally towards the small bathroom for a well needed quick shower. And during all that time, Maura remained sat on the couch, facing the wall; listening to her heartbeats speed up uncontrollably. She was happy, utterly happy. Once the surprise of Jane's arrival had subdued, something stronger had settled deep inside of her. A new breath, some sort of a new strength that had carried her during all these hours as the detective had been sleeping. She felt like thanking her, telling her a thousand things. But not a single word dared to escape from her heart to hit the air with honesty. She lacked courage. She was not good at it.

...

"Pupils are allowed to walk around The Field until 5pm. Then, it is highly prohibited. All these small buildings you see around are the different houses – for boys and girls – and on your right stands the chapel with its cloister where you can go anytime. Classes are held just there, in the largest building, where you will also find the cafeteria and the library."

Jane was looking everywhere – trying to catch on Maura's quick tour of the school – as they walked their way to the assembly hall for tea. The buildings didn't look big in themselves but the park seemed immense, its green lawn disappearing behind small hills; towards the river that ran nearby.

"What did you do while I was sleeping?"

People were gathering by the imposing granite doors already, all looking the same with their sweater neatly folded on their shoulders over their blazers. Somehow and against Jane's expectations, Maura was the least conformist of them all with her cotton dress and gray cardigan.

"I attended a conference about Post Modern Literature."

Jane stopped – turned around – and stared at her friend in disbelief before shaking her head, repressing a snort.

"Conferences? Now that's one odd way to celebrate an anniversary."

Except in Rugby School. Maura replied to her friend's remark by a quiet smile.

The spirit of such prestigious educative center was extremely different from any other school. Expectations were not big but gigantic, just like the pressure pupils had to face. Nobody from outside could understand.

"_Orando Laborando... By praying, by working_... Forget what I said about _The Dead Poets Society_, I guess you actually went to Harry Potter's school, Maur'."

Jane winced at her friend as they passed the large doors and entered the building, leaving behind the motto of the school engraved in the brick wall at the entrance.

Hundreds of people were already reunited in the hall but as none of them came to talk to Maura, the blonde swallowed hard and tried to ignore the blush on her cheeks. Jane's ex-classmates had come to her right away at her high school reunion. The Italian might not have been the most popular girl, she still had had friends; people who cared about her. Maura had none of this and it was becoming awfully obvious, now.

"Oh, Isles! We're looking for a rubber, any chance with you?"

Mug of tea in hand, Leonore stopped right in front of the scientist and waited more or less patiently for an answer to her incongruous question. Ignoring Jane's confused face, Maura shook her head; cleared her voice.

"I'm afraid I don't have any on me right now but let me introduce you to my friend. Leonore Whiteman, this is Jane Rizzoli. Jane is a homicide detective who works for the Boston Police Department."

Politely enough, Leonore shook the Italian's hand then rose a dubious eyebrow before staring at Maura with an amused smile curling up her lips.

"Oh, an American. Lovely. Nice to meet you, Jane. It's always a pleasure to meet Maura's... _Friends_... Which reminds me... Violet is here. She'll surely be happy to see you, Isles. After all these years, you must have a lot to catch back on. I mean, I suppose so. I don't know how it works between... You know... Well, if you'll excuse me... I desperately need to find a rubber, now."

It was a chemical reaction, one of the most natural – instinctive ones. Panic was a bare feeling that not a single person didn't experience all along his life yet when it came to Maura, things went easily out of proportions.

Just like now.

"Don't take it bad, Maura... But your classmates are odd. She was looking for a condom? Really?"

Jane's sudden interruption made the scientist slightly jump of surprise. Confused, the blonde looked at her friend and frowned before restraining a laugh; hand on her mouth.

"No! Have you lost your mind? In England, a _rubber_ stands for an _eraser_. Certainly not for a contraceptive. Do you really think she would have come to me for that, between two scones?"

At least such linguistic mishap made Maura relax before Leonore's words. Without adding anything, the blonde grabbed her friend's forearm and together they headed towards the buffet for a cup of tea and a few pastries.

Of course, Violet was there. It was logical. Yet somehow, the scientist hadn't thought about it as if her brain had simply shut down the mere possibility; echoing its attempt to make the woman vanish from Maura's memories for years now. An eternity.


	6. Chapter 5

_**Author's note: Thank you all for the reviews, it's still really lovely to read them!**_

**...**

**Chapter five**

"You... You actually brought a dress?"

Maura's question didn't own any mockery tone, just an ounce of surprise that melted into a sincere and sweet remark. Slightly taken aback – hand on her chest as if to highlight her pleasure – she looked up at Jane and blushed.

She hadn't assumed that her friend would think about it when packing for England but in the end little did she know over the reason why the Italian was actually there; why Jane had stormed in her life just like that, earlier in the morning. They hadn't talked about it, hadn't even alluded to it a single time yet.

And Maura had no idea that Jane had actually read with attention Rugby School policies before buying her flight ticket then leaving Boston in a frenzy whirl. Pulling on her dress with nervousness, the brunette did not say a word. She simply nodded then swept away the remark with a gesture of the hand.

The official dinner for the school 500th anniversary didn't rhyme with worn jeans and a pair of tennis shoes. As a matter of fact, even casual clothes on the campus had nothing to do with Jane's definition but she wasn't there to embarrass Maura. On the contrary. So she would do anything to fit in.

"Are you ready?"

The medical examiner nodded – grabbed her purse – and opened the door to her friend. Tea time had turned out to be a pleasant moment. Jane had nicely chatted with a few people while the honey blonde had fought against her own wonders and fears; quietly enough, in her corner. Yet the presence of her friend by her side reassured her. A lot.

"If the dress code is so tight then why aren't you wearing the school blazer like others, Maura?"

For the second time that day, they took the small path that led to the main building; a couple of guys waving at Jane as they crossed them on their way up to the assembly hall. The scientist smiled at the gesture. Her friend had barely been there for a few hours and people already remembered her when she – Maura – had spent years with them and was still considered as a stranger.

"We only have to wear it for official meetings to represent the school outside. Some like wearing it all the time but I don't. We all look the same, then. Like some sort of sheep."

The bitterness in her last sentence didn't pass unnoticed to Jane but the detective remained quiet and nodded instead. They passed the doors of the building and headed straight to the cafeteria or at least what Maura had defined as such because when she entered the room, Jane had the feeling she had just been invited to a five-star restaurant instead.

The ceiling was extremely high – the granite walls covered of tapestries at the colors of the school – while tables had been set up all around. The result was closer to a wedding settlement.

"I went to the administration floor while you were sleeping to make sure that you would have a seat at my table."

With confidence, Maura headed to the plan and looked for her name. Then froze, swallowed hard and restrained these tears of panic that were already asking to come out. Why did her reactions always have to be so extreme, uncontrollable? It made her look ridiculous and childish.

"Please tell me we aren't at the science geek table or else this dinner is going to be atrocious."

She forced a smile at Jane's joke but didn't reply and reluctantly walked towards their seats. If she had not lacked confidence so suddenly, Maura would have sworn that people were staring at her while one of these painful smirks played on their lips. They were mocking her, eager to see her once she would reach her table and face nobody but Violet.

She hadn't changed much. Of course the passing of time had engraved a few wrinkles on her face – at the corner of her gray eyes – but her smile was still the same peaceful one. Her gaze briefly stopped on Jane before focusing on the honey blonde.

"It's a pleasure to see you after all these years, Maura."

Violet was being honest and it was exactly what bothered the scientist. Something ached as she sat at her seat and nodded back at the woman; barely daring a glance towards Jane. Why had nobody else made it to their table yet? Why did Maura always have the feeling that life itself played against her all the time? Clearing her voice – ignoring her loud heartbeats – she motioned at Violet.

"Jane Rizzoli, this is Violet Fairbanks, my... My ex-roommate's sister. Violet is an influential artist now in England and was already by then when we studied here. Jane is... My friend. Homicide detective at the Boston Police Department. We work together."

Violet tended a warm hand to shake the Italian's and smiled brightly at her. A whisper – barely audible – sliding on her lips.

"A _friend_...?"

Jane didn't seem to pay much attention to it and shook the woman's hand instead, obviously happy to finally meet someone eager to talk about Maura. So far, the brunette could hardly say it had been the case. The scientist hadn't exaggerated when she had said that she didn't have school friends.

"How is your family doing?"

Violet's smile faded vaguely. She straightened up on her seat and nodded politely at Maura's question. The medical examiner knew that it would hurt but she simply couldn't pretend and go any other way; as if nothing had happened.

"Mum and dad are okay... It has been a while, you know. Even if you don't really forget in the end."

Maura didn't miss the way Jane's curiosity got piqued, how her eyebrows arched and she cast a glance at the scientist for any clue over Violet's peculiar answer. Not really knowing why yet hoping that the Italian wouldn't ask out loud, Maura squeezed her friend's knee – under the table – and focused on the conversation she was having with the artist.

"Of course. Please tell them hello for me. I... I haven't been to London for ages – or eventually for work – which means I haven't had time to go and visit them. I promise I will, next time."

Violet smiled back and took a deep breath as she scanned the room, desperately looking for a chance to take the conversation on another path that would sweep away the tears that had appeared at the corner of her eyes.


	7. Chapter 6

_**Author's note: Thank you so much for all the reviews!**_

**...**

**Chapter six**

As Maura disappeared inside the main building, Jane took a deep breath and turned around. Hands in the pockets of her jeans, she scanned the area; not really knowing where to start.

_It is a science geek reunion, don't feel forced to come. We can meet afterward, if you want._

As much as she had made it to England in order to spend time with her friend, Jane was quite happy to skip that part of the trip. She would have done it though – she would have done anything for Maura – but she knew that the honey blonde would be in her element for the next couple of hours and that she would do just fine on her own.

Or at least she hoped so.

The rain had been washed away by the night and even if the temperatures were rather cool, the sky was blue; a few white clouds traveling peacefully along. Quietly. Taking a deep – invigorating – breath, the Italian walked towards the cloister. She could have stayed in the lounge of their house or even in their room but the immensity of the park intrigued her more than anything else.

As she passed a small granite door and lost herself in the patio – the shadows of the columns sliding on the grass – the voices of a group of men playing rugby on The Field faded in the background and a cold silence wrapped her up. The chapel was at the end of the alley, in the dark. Deserted at this hour of the day.

Curious and slightly intimidated, Jane pushed the door and stepped into it.

Apart from a few altar candles that had been lit up, the chapel looked almost abandoned. Bare. In one fluid movement, the detective sat on a bench and observed the room. Maura was an atheist – she had made it clear on several occasions – yet she hadn't mentioned that, as a pupil at Rugby School, she had attended mass every now and then. As a matter of fact, the blonde had remained rather quiet over her past.

Even the night before when they had come back to their room after dinner, Maura had not been very talkative. As if embarrassed – uncomfortable – she had gone to bed and fallen asleep quickly. Maybe she didn't want Jane to be there. It might have seemed stupid but it hadn't crossed the Italian's mind at all that – perhaps – her friend didn't see her visit as a chance.

Jane swallowed hard at the thought and began to brush the scars of her hands in a nervous gesture. What if she had been wrong all along and Maura didn't dare to tell her that she wasn't welcome here?

Her heartbeats slowed down as she finally made it back outside. A soft breeze was blowing in the trees, caressing her face with a singular sweetness. She passed The Field – barely cast a glance at the rugby practice – and headed down instead towards the river where the school rowing team of alumni slid on the water with easiness. There was something peaceful about such a scene – something Jane had never experienced in Boston.

Time seemed to have got suspended in Rugby Town and the days passed by at an odd yet addicting pace; slow like a hot summer day in the hazy South of the USA.

…

Her stilettos resounded loud on the wooden board, highlighting her fast – confident – steps. Without a word yet smiling brightly at Jane, Maura sat down on the ground next to her friend then focused on the river in front of them. The scientist hadn't been much surprised when she had received the text message from the brunette to tell her where she was. It was a beautiful place, a bit further from the rest of the school. Quieter.

"I used to come here a lot when things didn't go right."

It wasn't more of a confession than a mere statement, a few words that came from such a long time they didn't own the same strength anymore. Yet they floated above both women's heads for long seconds before Jane to react and talk.

"I thought the library was your second home."

Maura's smile froze. Focusing on the other bank a few feet away – straight in front of her – she let a loud sigh pass her lips. Regret embracing her features.

"This school is oppressing, at times. I needed fresh air to escape from it."

Chin leaned on her knees – arms wrapped around her legs – Jane turned her head and looked at Maura for a long time before replying. She had never seen the medical examiner so bitter about things, and so secretive if she had to be completely honest. The blonde seemed to keep her past in a blurry bubble as if to avoid a revelation that would threaten whatever aspect of the person she was now.

It bothered Jane, if only because she knew how Maura was in pain.

"It's a beautiful place, here."

The Italian's comment got welcomed by another sigh; the one of disillusions, this time. Little did Jane know that it was a mere artifice to hide sorrow. Swallowing back her tears, Maura bit her lower lip and let her gaze follow a leaf floating down the river.

"Don't trust appearances. It is only a jail for wealthy people. A golden cage somehow."

Perhaps – subconsciously enough – it was exactly what Maura had wished for because when Jane took her in her arms for a quiet embrace, the blonde felt utterly fine; at last. An unexpected gesture that she abandoned herself to with a timid pleasure.

Closing her eyes – in the crook of her friend's neck - she took a deep breath and let the scent of the Italian go to her head bewitchingly. It was soothing. Perfect. Symbiotic. Just like their relationship.

"Thank you for being here."

The world didn't stop turning. Saying such words didn't burn her lips. But the murmur they came through owned the softness of a fragile reality; of a few untold things one would never dare to confess, for a reason hard to properly understand. And driven by her sudden boldness, Maura tightened her grip on Jane as the brunette planted a kiss on top of her head.

"Rizzoli? Err... And... And Isles."

Taken aback by the sudden presence of a third party calling their names, both friends turned around and looked – perplexed – at Henry Donoghan, a rugby player whom Maura remembered as being rather popular.

"Dinner at _Arnold's Arms? _The gang goes there at 5pm."

If Jane hadn't been there, he would have never asked. Maura knew it. She had never been part of any _gang _and in spite of the decades that had passed by, it seemed now obvious that nothing had changed about that.

"It is a local pub, Jane."

The brunette nodded and before her obvious enthusiasm, Maura put aside her uncertainty. Hand on the wooden boards – suddenly realizing that subconsciously enough, she had marked the distance between hers and Jane's body – she smiled back at Henry.

"We will be there at 5pm, then. Thank you for the invitation."


	8. Chapter 7

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews, I'm really glad to see that you're liking the story so far; as for all the questions that have been brought in the story so far, don't be worried, they will all be answered at some point as well, on time. Oh, and for the rating... There should be a couple of "more graphic" scenes but I won't change the rating (too lazy), let's say I'll put a little warning at the beginning of the chapter if needed!**_

_**...**_

**Chapter seven**

_Arnold's Arms _was a typical English pub with its locals stopping by for a pint at the end of their day – the television on, airing some sport event – while loud music blasted around. A bit reluctant, Maura stepped towards a group of people already assembled at a table.

She knew them all – remembered some more than others – and even if she wanted to believe that time had passed by and it was different now, something kept on telling her that it wasn't true; that all these people wanted was to humiliate her one way or another as they used to for her being _different. _

Jane knew about it – how the blonde had spent most of her time alone with her books and fantasies haunting her mind – but then there were all these details Maura hadn't told her. Like Elizabeth.

"Hey Rizzoli, come over here. We were talking about the rowing competition that will take place at school tomorrow, would you like to join in?"

Jane. It was all about Jane. No matter she didn't share the same social background – nor had attended Rugby School herself – the Italian's temper seemed to have seduced many people around; mostly men. Not saying a word, Maura swallowed hard and clenched her fists. She hated it.

"Rowing? Hmm I'm afraid I'll pass on that one. Ask me again when basketball is in."

Smiling apologetically at Henry Donoghan, Jane turned around to focus back on Maura and passed a hand – protective enough – on the blonde's waist to drag her closer. The music was loud, too much for any kind of conversation. She bent over and brushed the scientist's ear.

"What do you want to drink? I'll go get it."

Jane's hot breath slid along Maura's neck – getting lost somewhere against her shivering skin – and as she cast a glance at the crowd gathered around, she blushed. They were staring at them both; not really bothered but amused. It made her uncomfortable, and angry.

"How about fencing, then? Has Maura taught you about it? She was one of the best. Along with Elizabeth..."

The question came from Violet. Pint in hand and coming back from the pub counter, she leaned against the wall before smiling brightly at Jane. For some reason, the brunette didn't know what to think about her. She seemed rather friendly but Maura felt incredibly uncomfortable whenever she was around and obviously, there was a reason to it. Except one more time, the medical examiner refused to confess the slightest thing.

"Not yet, actually. We might have talked about it a couple of times but life has kept us too busy so far."

Two women giggled – somewhere on Jane's left – but the detective decided to ignore them, assuming their reaction was caused by the vapors of alcohol. Without adding a word nor waiting for an answer from Maura – she headed to the bar counter for a drink.

"The streets of Boston are that much unsafe that they require a medical examiner in permanence?"

Maura smiled politely at Leonore's joke and was about to reply when a third party interrupted her. Matthew Banks – a brilliant student at the time – was sitting on her right.

"You are a medical examiner? I am a surgeon. Would you know – by accident – Linda O'Connor? She is my sister-in-law and is a MD too, works in Washington DC."

Pleased – and slightly relieved – to finally find a colleague who accepted to talk to her properly, the honey blonde took a seat and nodded at Matthew.

Perhaps she had been wrong and had misjudged her ex-classmates a bit too fast, in the end.

…

She had lost count of the pints and the world was sweetly rocking her, now; carrying her in that bubble where nothing seemed to be able to ever reach her. She was fine – vaguely leaned against Jane while in full conversation with Matthew and a couple of other guys – plainly happy.

"Isles, it is your turn."

The call of her name made her jump but as she looked up at Mary Wentwood, a mischievous smile lit up her features. She had lost her inhibitions a long time ago and the challenge was too strong to resist.

Slowly – checking her own balance – she stood up and nodded only to get stopped by Jane's hand on her wrist.

"Maur'... Are you sure you can do that? Don't take it bad but I guess you've crossed your beer limit a while ago."

The blonde grabbed the darts then winked at Jane. In a fluid – yet a tad suggestive – movement, Maura made it to the center of the room under everyone's attention. The pints of beer had swept away any kind of fear, replaced it by self-confidence. An odd one she wasn't used to.

The first dart landed right in the center of the board and elicited a bright smile on Jane's lips. Proud, the brunette straightened on her seat and took a sip of Guinness.

"How did the two of you meet, by the way, Jane?"

Leonore had asked, ignoring her husband's attempt to shush her. Reluctantly enough, Jane focused back on the table – leaving Maura to her own game – and shrugged; looking for the right words. Perhaps she should skip the part of her undercover.

"At work. We... Met at work. It started with a misunderstanding and here we are, now."

A red-head woman – Leonore's closest friend if Jane had got it right – sighed dreamingly. Chin on the palm of her hands, she smiled at Jane.

"Now this is cute."

The choice of adjectives surprised the detective but before she had time to add anything, Maura was back at the table. Darts in hand – her eyes glimmering in delight – she tended them to Jane.

"Do you want to play? Happy to see I wasn't as rusty as I thought I was."

Somehow glad to escape from the table, Jane nodded and stood up immediately. She might not know much about rowing, darts weren't an issue at all. On the contrary. With casualness, she positioned her feet properly and lifted her left arm in the air. Two hands on her waist stopped her. Maura grabbed her from behind and molded her body against her back; her fingers subconsciously playing with the cotton of her shirt.

Slowly – to cover the music – she approached Jane's ear.

"Show them how Americans can rock it."

The blonde's voice was hoarse – sensual as the words brushed Jane's flesh and made her shiver slightly. She didn't say a word but let Maura's fingers travel up her sides until guilt invaded her. Perhaps she should have stopped her friend but the truth was that she didn't feel like doing so. Besides, it barely lasted a few seconds. Cold wrapped her up back soon as the medical examiner left to go and order another pint.

It wasn't the first time Maura drank more than one glass of wine. She did hold alcohol quite well – yet turned into quite a seductress when doing so. It didn't bother Jane much. Somehow, she was used to it. But tonight, it was different. They weren't in Boston, alone or with friends. People the brunette barely knew and the blonde didn't appreciate much kept on staring at them intently. An ambiguous behavior – even if subconscious – was delicate in this context.

And the last thing Jane wanted was a couple of extra pints to embarrass Maura for the rest of her stay.


	9. Chapter 8

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for all the reviews, they are always appreciated.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter eight**

"So you didn't tell me, Maura. Which one was your boyfriend? Or which _ones_, should I say."

Hands in the pockets of her jeans, Jane smiled at her friend as they walked up towards a small building for a fencing practice. One more time, the scientist hadn't said much after the evening at the pub but as the hours were passing by, a dark veil spread on her face and got Jane worried. They needed to talk but how to bring up a subject the Italian ignored everything about in the end?

The blonde's cheeks turned into a bright pink. Timidly, she looked down at her feet and shrugged at the question as she bit her lower lip.

"Charles..."

Jane stopped and widened her eyes in surprise at Maura who barely repressed a laugh. The brunette – taken aback – let a few seconds fly away before daring to speak.

"Leonore's husband? Small wonder why she doesn't seem to be fond of you."

Maura resumed her walk but rolled her eyes and shook her head as they turned on a second path on the left. The brick building was at the end of it, hidden by large trees. Further from The Field and the main school area, the place almost looked abandoned.

"We were twelve years old. If it lasted two weeks and if we kissed five times all in all..."

Perhaps it wasn't as much of a revelation as whatever bothered her friend but Jane nonetheless enjoyed the lightness of their conversation. Maura looked fine – happy – and serene. Not uncomfortable as she had been until then.

"Preteen crushes don't count! I was talking about... Serious boyfriends. You know, the real deal."

Maura frowned and plunged her hands in the pockets of her linen pants in a subconscious attempt to hide her nervousness. Her tongue slid on her lips, she swallowed hard and took a deep breath.

"There was no other boyfriend, here."

Jane was about to laugh away the statement when she remembered that Maura's school years had never been easy. The medical examiner had told her on multiple occasions that she had had no friend by then and had spent most of her time on her own with her books. It hadn't only been a matter of popularity, it was just how Maura was. Her social inabilities still took people aback, after all. The situation must have been worse by then.

Discomfort began to float loudly above their heads and with a quiet relief both women passed the door of the small sport building, leaving the conversation behind. After a brief introduction to the outfit and how to put it on properly, Maura let Jane change in the locker room and went to wait in the main room. The delicate sound of a sword cutting with precision the air welcomed her. She hadn't heard it for such a long time that for a few seconds, she lost herself in an ambiguous reminiscence where nostalgia kept on fighting against sorrow.

"Twenty years in America and you forget to put on your breeches and jacket?"

Taking off her mask and placing her _épée_ under her arm, Violet smiled at Maura; her hair falling in an hypnotizing cascade on her shoulders. The scientist shook her head, crossed her arms against her chest.

"I don't practice fencing anymore."

Violet's smile faded away in a semblance of regret. As a loud sigh passed her lips, the artist looked up at the ceiling and nodded. She replaced her _épée_ by a foil then locked her eyes with Maura's hazel ones.

"You know she would have liked you to continue..."

The locker room got slammed. Both women turned around only to see Jane walk in, a fencing white outfit on; mask in her hand.

"Do I really need to wear all this? It takes forever to get dressed, I'll never have the patience for this sport!"

The medical examiner stepped into the fencing area and walked towards the different swords. Without the slightest hesitation, she picked one of them and handed it to Jane.

"Put your mask on first. Fencing requires you to be careful. Even if your jacket is made of Kevlar, you still can get injured. Then I will give you this foil. It is a light sword but you will only aim at the chest."

The detective grabbed the weapon. Immediately, Maura positioned herself behind her friend; her hands standing firmly on Jane's hips. Quietly enough – amused – Violet witnessed the scene for a while then put back her mask on before returning to her own practice.

"It is a matter of balance and position. Your arms and legs have to be spread enough..."

Accompanying her words, the honey blonde grabbed Jane's arms while she slid her right leg between the detective's and pushed sightly to spread them.

""Hold your back straight but relax... Focus on your breathing..."

Realizing that she had forgotten to grab a glove to properly show the movements to Jane, Maura made a step backwards and excused herself before leaving to the house to take one. Silence spread but soon enough, Violet turned on her heels and positioned herself in front of Jane; ready to fence.

"Just follow my movements. I will go slow to show you."

Jane nodded and for the next minutes abandoned herself to an odd ballet of metal. As both swords hit each other – winning in pace – Violet made a step backwards in a signal to stop. She took her mask off.

"You aren't bad at all for a novice. Maura will appreciate it. It is such a pity she put an end to fencing... She was one of the best, here, along with Elizabeth."

Mask under her arm, Jane frowned and shook her head to vaguely get her hair back into place.

"Who?"

Surprise embraced Violet's features. The question had obviously taken her aback. Slowly, she went to put back her sword on the rack and shrugged as her gaze focused on an invisible point on the floor by her feet.

"Elizabeth, my sister. Maura's ex-roommate. I'm sorry. I had assumed that considering your... _Closeness,_ Maura had told you about her; not necessarily in detail but still."

A tad confused, Jane bit her lower lip and looked for something to add that would make sense if only a little. Why did people keep on making strange allusions without ever being precise?

"Maura is rather quiet about her school years, actually. I have to say that I'm quite happy to be here if only to put faces and such on her past. Sure if I hadn't decided to come at the last minute – to tell you the truth, Maura didn't invite me in the first place – the stay would be more comfortable and prepared. I mean, have you tried to share a single bed with someone? But it's an insignificant detail, of course!"

Jane's laugh resounded loud but forced. Was she now babbling just like Maura, in the hope to fill time and silence? She swallowed hard, nodded at Violet's smile.

The artist made three steps towards the brunette and shrugged.

"You know, Jane... This school might be prestigious and whatever you want to name it, most of us are actually open minded. We are just fine with _it_. No need to abuse of periphrasis."

Without adding a word nor caring much about Jane's now stronger confusion, Violet nodded at her and left by the main door.


	10. Chapter 9

_**Author's note: thank you all for the reviews!**_

_**...**_

**Chapter nine**

She hadn't even realized that they had been holding hands all the time until the first rowing team – and under the applause of the crowd – crossed the line to win. It is only when the soft summer breeze went and brushed her moist palm that she noticed it; when Jane let go of her hand to raise her fist up in the air in victory.

She was hot, her hair weighed too much on her shoulders. A drop of sweat slid down along her spine as her knee made contact with the Italian's.

"Come on, let's go and congratulate them!"

Jane looked ecstatic, her dark eyes glimmering of excitement. Within a second, the brunette was back on her feet and had swept away the grass from her jeans. She tended a hand towards Maura to help her stand up as well. That same hand – these same fingers – that had been intertwined with the scientist's in the most random gesture. The sweetest one too if Maura wanted to be honest. Subconsciously.

A light laugh led her among the crowd but as she realized that Jane was taking her directly to the team, the honey blonde stopped and let her friend go on her own. Arms crossed on her chest, she looked from the distance. As she had always done. Somehow it seemed fairer to only be a spectator. Her absence did not seem to bother anyone anyway. She wasn't made to shine on stage. Her place was there, always in the shadows of people's fate.

"The rugby game starts in thirty minutes but a buffet has been dressed up for the occasion. How about some champagne?"

A silly grin on her face, Jane smiled enthusiastically as she came back to Maura after a quick chat with the rowing team.

"Fencing, rowing and now rugby? This day is like British Olympics within twenty-four hours, right?"

Maura smiled at the remark. The school festivities were in full swing under a bright blue sky. People were coming and going everywhere around, laughter echoing exclamations and outbursts of pure joy. What could she say? It was a day of celebration and for once, Rugby seemed a bit less lugubrious.

"Sponsored by _Veuve-Clicquot,_ obviously. And eventually _Perrier_."

Guests had already made it to the buffet by The Field and it took them a moment to finally gain access to the tables for a drink. Champagne in hand, they found a quiet spot on a side and stopped there. Jane rose her glass, smiling at Maura.

"To..."

The medical examiner didn't let her finish. Somewhat proud, she bit her lower lip and blushed slightly.

"To you. Thank you for being here. It makes it all... Less insipid."

It took Jane aback, made her feel vaguely shy. But a French horn resounding loud in her back broke the odd – sweet – moment and with wide eyes, she turned around. Maura laughed away the reaction – put her hand on her friend's forearm – before guiding her towards The Field.

"It indicates that the game will start in ten minutes, now. As the tradition goes, we are supposed to go and regroup by houses. Each of them having specific colors that you can find back on our blazers by the emblem of the school. See?"

With her index finger, she motioned at the green and golden escutcheon on the jacket she was wearing and kept on walking; still sipping on her wine.

"Does that mean I am finally going to meet Elizabeth?"

As random as Jane's question had sounded, Maura froze suddenly; blood leaving her face as her fingers tightened their grip on her glass of Champagne. It went beyond her control, as if drawn to just stare at her feet; unable to look up at her friend properly.

"Who... Who told you about her?"

The blonde's tone of voice – cold and shaky – surprised Jane and for a tiny moment, she wondered if her curiosity hadn't crossed the lines too easily. Trying to laugh away the uncomfortable situation, she shrugged at the question.

"It's a small place, Maur'. People talk... How come I haven't seen her yet if she was your roommate? It's like everyone's mentioning her but she remains a complete mystery so far. She couldn't come? Does... Does she live in another country?"

Maura shook her head. She was shaking, now. On the verge of passing out. Her breathing was too loud, too heavy. She swallowed back bitter cries and passed her tongue over her dry lips.

"No. No, she doesn't."

Perhaps it wasn't the right time nor the right place but Jane was tired of these allusions that did nothing but nourish her confusion. Why did people not tell her what was happening once and for all? She had always hated being left aside yet even more now in such foreign place.

Shaking her head at Maura's whisper, she sighed loudly and frowned. No. She wouldn't let go of it now. She wanted to know. Wasn't she in her right, after all?

"What is it that you aren't telling me, Maur'? She was your friend and you're afraid I'll take it bad? Yes, you did tell me that I'm your first... Friend... But it's okay if it's not completely true. I mean, somehow it sounds actually reassuring. So tell me, what is it? What is bothering you? And where is Elizabeth? She is Violet's sister. How come she isn't here if she doesn't live abroad?"

Something icy in the scientist's gaze made her take a step backwards as Maura finally looked up at her. It wasn't anger but an indecipherable feeling that laid between pain and fear.

"She died. Elizabeth died. She disappeared one morning only to be found a few hours later hanging on a tree here. She had killed herself, she was seventeen."

Maura's abrupt confession shook the brunette but as Jane opened her mouth to reply, her friend's hand stopped her immediately, up in the air.

"She wasn't my friend, Jane. She..."

The honey blonde rolled her eyes – passed her tongue over lips, looking for the right words – and cast a desperate glance on her right. Defeat welcomed her, she shook her head.

"She was my girlfriend. Elizabeth was my girlfriend."

The French horn resounded loud again and made Jane jump out of surprise. Taken out of the slight yet present shock brought by Maura's confession, she turned her head around to look at the players make it to The Field. The game was about to start.

"Maur', I..."

Her words died somewhere between her throat and her lips as she came to face nothing but an empty space when she focused back on the conversation she was having. Maura had left and she was nowhere to be seen.

"Ah shit!"

Within a second, Jane abandoned her empty glass of champagne on a table and took the main path not really knowing where to go but echoing the pace of the beats of her heart, her steps were quick. She was running, now. Running – she hoped – towards Maura.


	11. Chapter 10

_**Author's note: I know I am repeating myself but thank you very much for all the reviews, it is a pleasure to read them.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter ten**

"Are you looking for Maura?"

Jane stopped immediately as Leonore pronounced her friend's name and – breathless for having run so much – she quietly nodded. The woman smirked, motioned with her head at a hill on their left.

"Years pass by but things don't change. _Mau' the Wacko_ is back to her shelter by the river... Obviously alone."

Something flickered in Jane's gaze as Leonore's words hit the air – a deep, dark feeling – and before any of them had a chance to realize what was happening, the Italian had grabbed Maura's classmate rather violently by the collar of her cashmere sweater.

"What is your fucking problem? Are you jealous because of that ridiculous fling she had with your husband?"

Not the slightest bit intimidated by Jane's sudden gesture, Leonore released herself from the grip and snorted; rolled her eyes. With a cold self-confidence, she crossed her arms against her chest, stared at the detective as if she had lost her mind.

"Oh please. Men aren't Maura's field. Don't tell me these are news to you. I would have a hard time believing that."

She didn't have time to lose with Leonore. Not now. Never. Casting a glance at the hill that went down to the river, Jane sighed loudly and turned on her heels.

"You wouldn't even make it to her list."

Leonore gasped but Jane didn't pay attention to it and left the path – crossed the hill – to run down to the river. She didn't care about anything – anyone – but Maura. It had always been like that and not a single thing would ever change that.

Her adrenalin didn't slow down as she spotted her friend sat on the grass. On the contrary. The pace of her heartbeats sped up in a contrast with her steps.

She stopped running – remained still for a moment – before finally daring to approach the blonde. Silently. Twisting her hands nervously, she settled next to her friend and let the seconds fly away as she observed the water running a couple of feet below.

Things had taken an unexpected turn – suddenly, without any warning – and truth to be told, Jane felt lost.

Uncomfortable.

She wasn't good at giving advices, at listening to people's pain and help them to go through it. She was too brutal, not subtle enough. Maura broke the silence for her hightest relief.

"I told you that this school was stressful. Too much for Elizabeth. She left a letter. She wasn't happy... They cut down the tree. As if it could delete everything!"

Disarmed, Jane looked at her lap. As much as she was fighting for words, she didn't know what to say. Maura's confession had taken her aback – completely – and the last thing she wanted was to be judged wrongly; to be mistaken for a vocabulary mishap. Her friend was in pain, for a thousand reasons that a hug would never soothe properly.

"It wasn't your fault."

The honey blonde laughed away the remark and shook her head before staring at a cloud up in the sky. The weather was getting stormy like in an odd echo of her soul. She bit her lower lip, shrugged.

"If there is one person who should have felt it come, it had to be me. We... Wasn't my status supposed to make of me the closest one in her life? It didn't, though. I failed, as usual."

Maura's choice of words troubled Jane. Why did she keep on abusing of synonyms? As if a veil of shame still embraced her feelings, whatever she had lived when she was seventeen.

"I slept with a woman, once."

Carried on by the surprise of such comment, the scientist abandoned the contemplation of the river to focus on Jane; or at least on the tiny patch of grass that separated their knees. Of er face didn't betray any feeling, the flame in her eyes showed the exact opposite. She swallowed hard, rose an eyebrow.

"Did you like it?"

Jane shrugged. Had the roles been reversed, without any warning? This was a detail of her life that the brunette had meticulously kept for her; something she had locked in a corner of her mind then moved on as if nothing had happened. She didn't even know why she had just confessed it, what had pushed her to do so.

Blushing, she passed a hand through her hair and avoided Maura's gaze on her.

"I don't know. It was... I don't even know if it was out of curiosity, or a fling. Or something more."

The medical examiner rose a confused eyebrow. Subconsciously enough, she had begun to play with the grass and kept on passing her fingers through the cool ribbon of green; locking it tight to whiten her knuckles until it broke in a small, abrupt sound.

"You regret it?"

The memory had turned blurry through the years, exactly as she had wanted it to be. It had happened and then the first thing Jane had tried to had turned to be doing her best to forget it; for whatever reason. It should have never made it back to the surface. She should have never talked about it. They were here for Maura, not for her.

"It wasn't the right person. That's the only thing I know."

The honey blonde nodded and as if a surge of courage – a new breath of life coming with vitality to go and nourish her breathing – had wrapped her up, she locked her eyes with Jane's and let the words slide on her pale lips.

"Elizabeth counted. I liked it. As a matter of fact, I _like_ it. I... It isn't curiosity, for me. It is just the way I am. I like men, I am attracted to them. I date them but..."

Jane's hoarse voice covered hers, stole her words with a fairness Maura had never shared.

"But it's different with women."

The scientist nodded before apologizing in a shrug. She hadn't been sincere with her friend, after all. A lot of things – a large part of her life – had remained in the dark, involuntarily at first and then by cowardice. The ridiculous fear to ruin everything, a whole relation she had never imagined to live.

Jane didn't know it but their friendship was her everything.

"I am sorry to make you miss the rugby game."

The brunette burst out laughing. Bringing lightness to a moment that weighed heavily; unsteadily on them. Letting her fingers run on her friend's shoulder – leaning her head on top of Maura's as the blonde settled in the crook of her neck – a serene smile played on her lips. She shrugged it all away.

"I couldn't care less about rugby. I've never understood the rules, too complicated... I didn't come here for it, besides, but for you. So wherever you go, I want to follow you."


	12. Chapter 11

_**Author's note: thank you again for all the reviews and don't be worried, I put this story in the romance category for a reason so it's on its way.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter eleven**

Sunglasses on and menu in hand, Jane cast a last glance at the name of the pub before looking up at Maura and smirk.

"_The Dirty Duck? _Is this some kind of homage to _The Dirty Robber?_"

For a few seconds, the honey blonde remained unsure but soon enough her face lit up and she relaxed; allowed herself to laugh while putting back on her Chanel, the sun being strong at this hour of the day.

"Definitely not intended but here's to Boston."

She rose her pint of Guinness – waited for Jane to do as well – and cheered with her friend before the beer to cool down her throat. After the events of the day before, the scientist had suggested a getaway that would take them far from Rugby School if only for a few hours.

The place had become a bit too heavy to Maura's taste. Jane had accepted immediately.

Stratford-upon-Avon was a lovely town even if quite touristic. Every single corner reminded the visitor that Shakespeare were born there in the 16th century but after a stroll through the picturesque streets and by the river, Jane had to recognize that her friend had had a good idea. And most of all, Maura looked happy.

"_It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves._"

They hadn't talked back about their latest confessions, these ghosts from the past that had come back to haunt them oppressively. Instead, they had just gone on – watched the end of the rugby game and spent the afternoon enjoying the various activities offered by the school – then had headed to bed as if not a lot had happened.

Yet everything had changed.

"I didn't know that you liked quoting Shakespeare between a sip of Guinness and a bite of sausages and mash..."

The remark – light enough – surprised the Italian. Maura rarely gave into such a game for being a bit too literal in the end. Yet when she did, Jane always ended up laughing. Shrugging away the comment, the detective shook her head and made a face.

"You would definitely beat me at this but you know, it's just some high school memories."

The words hit the air and she regretted them right away. The analogy was a tad ridiculous but nonetheless there and biting her lower lip, the brunette smiled apologetically. Obviously, it wasn't the right time to allude to high school memories; Maura's weren't the happiest ones.

"You can ask. I don't mind. As a matter of fact, it is normal if your curiosity is piqued somehow."

She hadn't done it on purpose. On the contrary, the goal of the day had been to help the scientist to go on and overcome that oppressive past she had been carrying on. But the elephant she was had done it all wrong and Jane hated herself right now. She passed a hand along her nape in a nervous gesture.

"No, it's fine. It's... It's all fine."

But Maura wasn't one to fool and the smile that embraced her lips resounded louder than a thousand unanswered questions. Playing with her jacket potato, she passed her tongue over her lips and let the intern fight take possession of her thoughts. She was tired of pretending, of trying to come to terms with it.

"It started as a rumor, because we never showed anything in public. But this school is a small village and all of a sudden, the two odd girls were spending more and more time together. There was no mockery, just a few allusions. I guess Elizabeth's parents learned it at some point but they didn't ask. They liked me, invited me on several occasions as Liz' friend... And then it happened. I woke up one morning and she wasn't there. The years might have passed by, I still have her death on my conscious. I should have known. I failed."

Without thinking it twice, Jane grabbed Maura's hand and pressed it tight before locking her dark eyes with the medical examiner's hazel ones on the other side of the table. The pub was crowded – tourists enjoying a warm, sunny day in England – but she didn't mind. The world could have stopped that she would have never noticed it, for it being all about Maura.

"Some people are good at hiding things, unfortunately. Even to their closest ones... Don't do that to you, it isn't fair."

The honey blonde nodded yet rolled her eyes. Jane was right – of course, she was – but the wisdom of her advice didn't find any echo whatsoever and Maura felt bare; vulnerable. Yet relieved to have talked.

"It didn't change much people's gaze on me. I was too odd right from the beginning for that."

Jane's fork landed loudly on the wooden table as the Italian leaned on her hands and bent over. Her lips brushed the corner of Maura's mouth in a long, sincere kiss. As she retreated to her seat and hid behind her pint of beer, the honey blonde smiled brightly.

"_When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools._"

The words slid on Maura's lips as she winked at Jane and laughed lightly. End of the parenthesis; past would remain but hopefully would turn blurry. The brunette didn't insist.

"Coffee? By the way... I saw Henry, this morning. When I told him we were going to Stratford, he said that it was a good idea for a romantic getaway. I guess your classmates think we are together, Maur'."

As blood literally left the blonde's face, Jane wondered if she had done well to reveal such a thing. Yet a laugh – an uncontrollable one – took possession of her until tears watered her eyes.

"It's not the end of the world, Maura. That's fine, I'm okay with it. Don't freak out. I just assumed it was fair enough to let you know. And truth to be told – if we were dating – at least it would mean I have a lot more taste in women than I will ever have in men."

Uncertain about her own confession, Jane grabbed her cup of coffee and burnt her throat as if she took a sip of the hot drink. She repressed a scream, shook her head.

"And he was right, it's a lovely place. Really... But aren't we missing some anniversary activities? You know I'm not here to trouble your schedule. If you have stuff to attend, let me know. You're playing the tourist guide when it shouldn't be your role."

She couldn't see Jane's eyes through her sunglasses – just as Jane couldn't see hers through her large and classic Chanel – but for the whole lunch, Maura had kept on imagining them glimmering in the sun; delighted.

"The science fair will be held tomorrow, like the bonfire at night. Today was actually the perfect day for a getaway in the county."

With a latent awkwardness, Maura patted her friend's hand; let her thumb caress Jane's fingers subtly.

"A science fair? Jeez, lucky me. You have no idea how I'm thrilled."


	13. Chapter 12

_**Author's note: thank you a lot for all the reviews!**_

_**...**_

**Chapter twelve**

"I might need a couple of weeks to overcome these past four hours. That's all I'm saying!'

Crossing her arms against her chest, Maura pouted – lightly enough – before shaking her head at Jane. The Italian hadn't stopped the allusions since they had left the science fair to get ready for the evening by the bonfire. It was teasing, pure – typical – Jane. And truth to be told, Maura enjoyed it.

"There are two bonfires: the one you are supposed to dance around to bagpipes and the one you jump over while holding the hand of the person of your choice. These two are ancestral traditions that..."

The brunette didn't listen to the rest of her friend's explanation. The word 'bagpipes' had been enough but when she came to see the flames rise in the early evening, she opened her eyes wide. She hadn't expected such a tall fire. Intrigued, she followed Maura without saying a word.

If she had had to be honest, coming back to Rugby School after their nice getaway in the county hadn't been easy, even less when Jane had noticed Maura's features deepen in the car. Little by little, the scientist had locked herself back into her world and barely replied to the brunette's attempt to make her talk.

Thankfully, the afternoon dedicated to science seemed to have cheered her back up and the blonde's eyes were glimmering again with delight. With enthusiasm, Maura grabbed Jane's hand to make her speed up.

"You will jump with me."

The statement stopped Jane right in her tracks, forcing her friend to turn around and frown before the Italian's nervous giggle.

"Do whatever you want with your lovely legs, Maur', but don't count on me to burn mine. There's no way I go and jump that fire. Have you lost your mind?"

The scientist burst out laughing and pulled her friend towards the flames, and the crowd already assembled there enjoying the music and a buffet.

"You chicken. We're both wearing jeans and baskets, the flames are low. We don't risk anything. Unless you prefer to start with the Irish gigs..."

Jane made a face and barely repressing a sigh, she took a deep breath as the flames began to warm up her face. People were staring at them, she knew it. Not only were both women holding hands but they would jump the fire together; with whatever Maura's choice for such tradition implied.

The blonde pressed her friend's hand – gave her a brief nod – before smiling brightly and taking her impulsion to go and jump.

It barely lasted three seconds, soon followed by the applause of the crowd, as the tradition went. Landing on the other side, Maura took Jane in her arms.

"See? It was nothing! Now come by the big fire for the buffet and the songs."

The blonde kept on laughing and after a couple of beers – their cheeks red – they were both dancing to the sound of bagpipes among others who didn't seem to pay much attention to them anymore.

"Hey, Rizzoli? Not too knackered?"

A guy from the rowing team patted Jane's shoulder as she and Maura were about to start their fifth jig without a stop. The brunette frowned, shook her head.

"Too what? I... I only had a few beers. I need more to knock me out!"

The medical examiner took advantage of the moment to disappear from Jane's sight.

"Knackered like in 'tired'. You haven't stopped jumping around to bagpipes for the last twenty minutes or so. Go slow with Maura, I don't want to find you both almost lifeless on the grass."

A hand slid on Jane's waist, making her jump of surprise. It was the honey blonde.

She was back, bottle of champagne in hand while her grip on the Italian turned explicitly possessive. Nobody missed it nor the mischievous smile that lit up Maura's face as she motioned at a dark area further from the bonfires.

Apologizing herself to her interlocutor, Jane finally followed her friend.

There had been nothing innocent in Maura's behavior. She knew the rumor that were going on about her and Jane yet she had just given everyone fuel to them. Not that it bothered the detective but it was out of character somehow.

Far from the flames, the coolness of the night embraced them back and soon enough the sound of the bagpipes turned into a delicate murmur in the background. They passed the stone door that led to the chapel but instead of going straight through the cloister, Maura stepped onto the patio to settle there in the grass.

Jane joined her, amused as she saw her friend drink straight from the bottle before handling it. Maura moved a bit – turned her back at Jane – then laid down holding a cigarette.

"Since when do you smoke?"

Arm under her head – staring at the sky – the medical examiner giggled then shook her head. She was relaxed, a lot more than Jane had ever seen her in her whole life.

"It is herb, 100% organic. Nothing bad at all. Do you want to try?"

Uncertain, Jane nonetheless grabbed the cigarette and laid down next to her friend. Perhaps it was just Maura's way to release the stress of the past few days.

"How come you didn't go to Oxford? It seems like all Rugby School alumni go there after."

Maura rose an eyebrow in surprise. She hadn't expected the brunette to ask such question as fair as it was. She shrugged, swallowed hard.

"I assumed that it was time for me to head back to the US and start a new life. Elizabeth passing away, things changed after that. At least in Boston, nobody really knew me and I stopped being the odd one. Retrospectively, I would say that this is when I suffered from my adolescence crisis. Once in college, I gave into provocation and all that... Have I ever told you I rode nude at some point to protest against budget cuts? It all paid off somehow and people began to talk to me. And it was great, I wasn't transparent anymore... No matter I had forced myself to be someone else."

Maura grabbed back the cigarette, a disillusioned smile on her lips. She didn't look at Jane, didn't try to understand her friend's reaction to her sudden wave of confessions. The words were just coming out by themselves.

For the first time.

"But soon I realized that it was all fake. I have never had friends, barely acquaintances. And among them – oddly enough – some ended up thinking I was charming enough for a relationship; they liked the fact I was different, or at least at the beginning. After a while, they were all thinking the same and every time I was back to be too strange. Although bearable enough for a one-night stand. Nothing ever lasts in the end. Nothing but you."

Before Jane's silence, Maura turned her head around and locked her eyes with her friend's dark ones. The brunette was staring at her, impassive.

Maura laughed it all away – bitterly enough – before not thinking too much about the rest and closing the almost invisible gap that separated her from Jane.

The Italian's lips were soft, and warm. Delicate like the unexpected kiss that went from stolen to eager and rough. As the scientist deepened it – felt her friend's tongue brush hers for the first time – a brief wave of warmth spread in her lower stomach and made her moan sightly.

Her hand moved from Jane's jaw to her unruly hair; her leg passing sensually between the brunette's as Maura rolled on her side – molded her body against her friend's – and passed on top of her with a quiet surge of desire.

She grabbed Jane's hands, abandoning them on her buttocks. Against the thin fabric of her jeans. There, in the darkness of the cloister; under the eyes of sculpted columns.


	14. Chapter 13

_**Author's note: thank you for all the reviews and now... WARNING... This chapter gets a rating change so if you're 6 and could be shocked, see you in the next chapter.**_

**...**

**Chapter thirteen**

It might have been unexpected, she hadn't pushed Maura away when the blonde had bent over to plant a kiss on her lips. On the contrary, she had been turned on. There was no reason to lie about this.

It hadn't been a surge of curiosity either. Without complaining, she had grabbed Maura's hand then let her friend take her back to the bedroom for the rest of the night. They hadn't talked much. What was to say, anyway? They had had sex and Jane had liked it. A lot.

What would happen, now? Was it fair enough to still refer to the scientist as her friend or she needed to use another term to define their relation? A relation she had a hard time to not find blurry anymore. Yet deep inside, Jane refused to see it as a once in a lifetime action.

Retrospectively, perhaps she had actually always been attracted to Maura. It just hadn't hit her until the night before when they had crossed the lines. But to which point?

And then what?

Breathless and confused, the brunette stopped running then scanned the area. The park was quiet in the early morning hours – the buildings vaguely foggy behind a thick curtain of drizzle. Here and there, the lights of houses began to appear as people woke up and moved around.

Yes. Perhaps she had always been attracted to Maura.

Abandoning the path behind her, she crossed the lawn and ran back towards her own house. She needed to see her, no matter she had no idea how to deal with the delicacy of the morning after.

It was all about Maura and would always be.

…

Mugs in hand, Jane quietly stepped into the room and stopped halfway as she noticed the blonde sat up in bed. Maura's hair was a mess – her gaze still sleepy – but as she turned her head to look at the Italian a soft smile lit up her features. Knees folded against her, she passed her arms around them and accepted the tea.

"I was starting to think that you had run away."

Jane let a nervous laugh escape as she sat on the bed and shrugged; not really knowing what to say.

"I couldn't sleep anymore so I went for a jog. Sorry, I should have left you a message."

Maura hid a yawn behind her mug of tea and stirred up. Dreamily, she pouted and fixed a point on the blanket; somewhere near the brunette's thigh.

"Why you should have told me to not go to sleep naked. This bed is quite tiny for two people, it must have been quite uncomfortable for you. I mean, I know you aren't at ease with people's nudity."

The comment got the effect of a very cold shower on Jane. Her smile froze, she tightened her grip on the mug she was holding. Had Maura forgotten what had happened? They hadn't drunk much and the cigarette she had smoked had seemed rather inoffensive even if quite unexpected and out of character for the honey blonde.

Taken aback, Jane swallowed hard and remained quiet. Not a single idea was making it to her brain, it hadn't crossed her mind that things could actually turn that way.

Peacefully enough, Maura cleared her voice and locked her eyes with the brunette's.

"Jane...? It is a joke. I know what we did. I know I didn't strip then went to bed for a sleep."

For a few seconds, the Italian didn't move an inch and looked at her friend in disbelief. The rain was falling hard, now; resounding loud in the background, against the windows of the room.

"Seriously? Of all times, you chose this one to make a joke?"

Maura burst out laughing – bit her lower lip – then let her fingers caress playfully Jane's own ones. She shrugged, apologetically.

"I am sorry..."

Jane relaxed under the gesture – the sweet sign of affection – and a bit shyly bent over to capture these warm lips she had kept on kissing all night long. Maura smiled against her mouth but as the intensity grew bigger, she broke the embrace and pouted.

"I would gladly offer you to join me back in bed but you're soaked wet from the rain and sweaty from your jog so as the medical doctor I am, I suggest you to go and have a shower in order to avoid catching the influenza or worse, a pneumonia."

As Jane disappeared in the bathroom, Maura settled against the pillows of the bed and lost herself in the contemplation of the campus under the rain.

She felt fine, happy. Not caring much about anything but the time being. Voices in the corridor caught her attention. People were coming and going unaware of what was going on in her room.

Or so. Just like with Elizabeth.

The reminiscence made her frown but thankfully enough, Jane came back by the bed wearing nothing but a rather short and suggestive towel.

"Did you really say I wasn't at ease with the notion of nudity?"

With a snap of her fingers, she let the towel fall on the floor; revealing her naked body to Maura. Deep inside, Jane knew that it was out of her habits. Her heart was beating fast and she was doing her best to hide her shaking hands.

A feeling soon forgotten as she stepped into the bed – slid under the duvet – and got welcome by the heat of Maura's own flesh against hers.

The honey blonde was somehow authoritative and direct in bed yet gentle. With fluidity, she passed on top of Jane as she deepened their kiss. Her breasts molded against her friend's, the warmth of their skin inviting. The caresses of the Italian along her hips – her buttocks – became urging, just like that slow and irrepressible movement of her pelvis. Soon, Maura abandoned – reluctantly enough – Jane's mouth and traced a path of kisses down her lover's neck; her tongue brushing in a thousand circles the aroused flesh. Her fingers were already down there playing with the Italian's inner thighs.

Teasing. This was a game Maura had always been good at.

When her lips reached Jane's chest – bumping against the bones as it kept on rising under the heartbeats – a smile lit up her features. She missed this sensuality with men, from the kisses to the caresses. There was something different between two women that drove her crazy.

The flat of her tongue made contact with Jane's breasts and a surge of power made the blonde moan as her partner arched her back for more. The Italian was at her mercy, succumbing to her ministrations in silence.

In a last trail of kisses on Jane's lower stomach, the scientist rushed back to her friend's lips for a deep embrace; her fingers finally releasing the brunette's need between her legs.

Maura never let go her mouth, nourishing herself of Jane's sighs – moans – and shivers until the inevitable spasms of her body signed the end of the lustful torture.

"Hold me... Hold me tight. Please."

The blonde had taken her distance with Jane slightly once her body had found back its serenity but before her whisper – breathless and low – Maura obliged. She rolled on her side and legs wrapped up around her friend's waist, she held her tight against her own body.

Her face plunged in the crook of Jane's neck, under a thick layer of unruly black curls.

The gesture was soothing.


	15. Chapter 14

_**Author's note: thank you so much for all the reviews... As much as the story isn't over yet, I am thinking about writing a sequel. Please feel free to let me know if you would like that.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter fourteen**

There were two types of Jane. The one who bragged – spoke loud – and stood protectively for people she cared about when she felt the wind of insecurity coming from strangers blow hard and the other one – sweet and gentle – who let her vulnerability show up when nobody but Maura was around. And if the honey blonde liked the first one a lot, it was love she devoted to the second one.

Clutched to the edge of the swimming-pool, Maura looked how Jane approached by her lane – focused on her movements – and once the Italian turned out to be close enough, the blonde passed underneath the buoys then grabbed her friend by the waist before pushing her against the ceramic edge.

Her kiss was rough – full of eagerness – as her hands quickly traveled down Jane's thighs sending thus a rather suggestive message to the Italian.

As if a red light had suddenly got lit up in her head, Jane pushed Maura away and broke the kiss. A bit uncomfortable – uncertain – she giggled it away then frowned.

"Not here, Maur'. What if someone walks in on us?"

The scientist shrugged. She seemed amused, and rather aroused.

"There is nobody, relax..."

And without waiting for a reply, she captured back the detective's lips eagerly; pushed her even more against the edge of the swimming-pool. Her index finger began to play with Jane's swimsuit – there, where her lower stomach met her inner thighs – but one more time, the brunette pushed her away.

"I said no!"

Jane hadn't been violent or even less brutal but it nonetheless took Maura aback and for long seconds, the scientist remained still; confused. Shattered.

"You already grew tired of me?"

The smile she forced – the lightness she tried to give to the question – resounded blank and swallowing hard, the blonde looked aside; suddenly uncomfortable. Jane passed a hand through her wet hair, licked her lower lip.

"What? No! But Maura... We spent the whole day err... In bed, yesterday... I think it's fair to also go out and do other things at some point."

Something deepened in the honey blonde's features – a veil that darkened her face – passing from some incomprehension to pure pain. A cold anger.

"Are you insinuating that I have a sex addiction? Fine."

Coldly, Maura finally took her distance – leaned up on the palms of her hands – and got out of the pool before heading straight to the locker rooms.

They had – indeed – stayed in bed the day before until late in the afternoon before joining the alumni for tea. The lines of their relationship remained blurry for them not having talked about it. They might need time and let it come by itself one way or another.

Or not.

Slightly panicked, Jane hurried out of the swimming-pool and ran after Maura; vaguely waved at some women crossing her path in the other way. She grabbed her friend's wrist by the lockers area and forced her to turn around.

"Wait! What... What is this all about? You aren't my sex toy, Maura! I... Perhaps we should allude to it, now. You know, the whole thing that happened because personally this isn't something I had planned... Yet here I am. What do you want from me? What are you looking for in it? A sex friend? Is it a mistake you don't know how to get rid of? Am I... A rebound after Elizabeth?"

The medical examiner snorted yet despair seemed to emanate from it. She crossed her arms against her chest. She was cold, and not very fine all in all.

"Elizabeth passed away decades ago. I have turned the page, you have nothing to worry about. This is not her I imagine when... When I am with you. And the truth is that I don't know, Jane. I am as lost as you are. I hadn't planned anything like that either. But it is there and... I don't know. Isn't it what two people who are somewhat together do, have sex?"

Jane looked embarrassed, and felt it too. Yet she turned out to be unable to say why. Had it to do with the fact Maura had used the word 'together' or because herself had no idea what to do with the way the situation was evolving?

"Sex is only one part of a relationship but certainly not the only one and even less the reason why I like being with you. I... I don't know. Do you remember the evening you told me you liked my brother but you loved me? Well, I love you too. And I respect you way too much to ever see you as... Only _that_."

Jane's heart was beating fast – too much, maybe – and as confused as she was, there was one thing she was sure about: she would never let it go with Maura.

"I don't really understand what's happening, Maur', but... I would like to give it a try."

The blonde bit her lower lip. She was still shaking except tears had replaced the coldness of the place. Tears she did her best to repress. Staring at her bare feet, she shrugged with vulnerability.

"I am not good at human relationships."

Jane let a shy giggle come out and tenderly shook her head.

"I've been knowing you for almost five years, now. And as much as I know your... Antics... I would have a hard time imagining myself living without you... Come on... What are you afraid of, Maura? It's just me."

Maura rolled her eyes and nodded. She could hear a few people talk in the distance, their voices coming from the swimming-pool. If only she could have joined them and pretended that such conversation hadn't happened.

"And that's the problem, Jane. It's you. Not anyone... What if... I don't want to hurt you. I can't afford to lose you."

An odd silence wrapped them up, barely troubled by the rhythmical sound of drops falling from the shower stalls. They were alone. Nobody to walk in and interrupt their conversation. Nobody to guide them either towards the right decision to take. If there was a right one in the end.

Fighting over her hesitation, Jane made a step forward and cupped Maura's face to force her to look up into her dark eyes. She had to sound secure, and confident. No matter deep inside she was as scared as the woman she had held in her arms during the previous night.

"It won't happen. It can't. Give me a chance..."

To what? Jane herself didn't know. It was all vague, blurry. But as the seconds were passing by, a wave of certainty kept on growing in her stomach. She was unsure and so what? Something pushed her to go and think that she had to fight for it.

Because it was Maura. Her Maura.

Without saying a word, the honey blonde pulled Jane in her arms and held her tight. A sigh passed her lips – a loud one – as she closed her eyes then nodded against the Italian.


	16. Chapter 15

_**Author's note: thank you all for the reviews, I hope you are still enjoying the story.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter fifteen**

The first thing that she noticed turned out to be the smell. A mix of wax and chalks. They had kept the blackboard in spite of technology being present all around; a sort of homage to the past, to the reputation the school had built through the centuries.

Timidly – wrapped in a feeling she could hardly describe – Maura made a couple of steps in the room then stopped before looking around. All around, slowly enough. The same chairs, the same desks. And the coldness the honey blonde had never really forgotten in the end. The education was strict but good. Elitist and demanding. Respectful. Her hand brushed the teacher's desk – up on the dais – and for long seconds, the scientist stayed still. Observing the room from there.

It surely offered a different perspective. From there, a sentiment of power embraced her; brought confidence to the slightest of her movements. Nothing to do with all these chairs in front of her, a few inches lower to precisely insist on the difference.

Teacher versus students.

And all of a sudden, she saw them. Leonore, Matthew, Charles... Elizabeth. Twenty years earlier, with that indescribable smile lighting up their features; the one of genuine people highlighting their eagerness to succeed.

Air, she needed air. Before such reminiscence, her breathing turned louder; rough. She swallowed hard and repressed a wave of nausea. She shouldn't have come upstairs to the last floor. She shouldn't have gone and pushed the door of that classroom.

Too many memories, harsh ones.

She rushed out – ran down the corridor – and finally took a deep breath as she let the stairs behind then stepped outside. Perhaps there were a few things one should never try to think about.

A bit uneasy, Maura headed down the small path and smiled as she made it to the asphalt ground where the basketball game had started. Jane was playing. Moving with fluidity – trying to escape from her opponents – the Italian was in her element.

"America didn't convert you to basketball?"

Violet smiled at Maura from a bench. She was smoking a cigarette with the same nonchalance as she had always owned. Years might have passed by, the honey blonde still envied that serenity emanating from the artist. It was hypnotizing, delicate enough.

"I am more into softball. We organize some games at the BPD."

Violet laughed and gladly welcomed Maura to sit by her side. Motioning at Jane with her head, the artist bit her lower lip and played with her cigarette.

"I like her. She is surely very... _Different_... But nice. Someone you can rely on. Congratulations, Maura. I am glad that you have found her."

The medical examiner opened her mouth to reply – to state that Jane and her were just friends and nothing else – but it wasn't true anymore. Not really. They were going through something new and unexpected but friendship didn't have much to do with it.

"Thank you... And you? Does someone share your life?"

Violet nodded and let nicotine travel down her lungs before replying.

"Scarlet, an adorable Angora female cat."

Maura laughed before focusing back on the game. It was strange to see Jane play here – so far from the United States – with the river Avon in the background instead of the usual brick buildings of Boston. It hadn't crossed the scientist's mind until then but she deeply missed America; her house, the BPD, their colleagues. Time had done its trick and she was now nothing but a foreigner in England.

"My mother keeps me up to date with your exhibitions. Have you ever felt like coming to Boston? We would be more than glad to welcome you there. I know a few galleries who would die to work in collaboration with you."

Violet offered a cigarette to Maura but the honey blonde declined the offer and took out of her pocket her very own herbal ones.

"This dear Constance... We often see each other in London. She still doesn't understand why I keep on living in Bayswater instead of moving to Primrose. Or Hampstead, for that matter."

Violet's cell phone rang. She stood up – excused herself – and walked down the path leaving Maura on her own on the bench. Perhaps seeing the artist again was the best thing this school anniversary had brought.

Even if the presence of Elizabeth constantly floated above them.

"You're smoking again, Maur'? What on Earth? You're a bacteria and all freak. How can you give into that?"

Ball in hand, Jane came to sit by her side. Tea time had put an abrupt end to the basketball game. Sport might have owned its importance at Rugby School, nobody joked either with the 5pm tradition.

"Herbal medicine. This is lemon balm and scutellaria, two plants used for their relaxing effects. I tend to only brew them but with such a context, I have doubled the dose and... Well... I can't walk around a mug of tea in hand so I smoke them as well. Besides, I like the smell. But don't be worried, I am not a smoker much. This is occasional use only."

Jane didn't insist but only because Maura's confession – through half words – had taken her aback. The blonde had admitted how this anniversary was stressing her out yet at no moment so far had she asked for help; for someone to lean on. She used to be lonely, way too much to the Italian's taste. Unsure of what she was supposed to reply, the brunette passed her tongue over her lips and sighed.

"How about we go get ready for that tea?"

Maura nodded – stood up – and was about to grab Jane's hand in spite of her reticence to show any display of affection in public when the detective literally threw her ball towards the bench where Leonore and another woman were sat.

It brushed Leonore's head.

"Oh, Maura... We still have to work on your ability to catch back balls, don't we?"

Speechless and slightly confused before Jane's comment, the medical examiner froze; her head going from Leonore to the Italian with panic.

Yet she didn't miss the bunette's fake – forced – smile as she apologized to her ex-classmate. Of course, she had done that on purpose. In spite of what people could think, Jane always calculated her actions.

"Are you coming, Doc?"

Still astounded, Maura nonetheless nodded and approached Jane who had turned back on her heels but as she passed the bench, Leonore's comment stopped her right in her tracks.

"You bet, she is."

For once, Maura didn't miss the second degree the woman had used; the allusion to her relation to Jane. Clenching her fists in anger, she turned around and stared at Leonore with a gaze that surprised her ex-classmate. The honey blonde wasn't sixteen anymore. Her timidity belonged to the past, replaced by a self-confidence she wanted solid enough. She was the Chief Medical Examiner of The State of Massachusetts; a position held by a strong woman. It was time to prove it, now.

"More times than you will ever reach."

The words hit the air and took everyone aback; Maura included. But instead of insisting, she grabbed Jane's forearm and pushed her friend towards their house, mumbling. Falsely offended.

"I would appreciate it if you stopped telling lies about me, Jane. We both know that I would have never missed her head. I mean how could I? Have you seen how disproportionate to the rest of her body it is?"


	17. Chapter 16

_**Author's note: thank you for the reviews, once again... And warning, there are a couple of bad words in this new one so cover your eyes if you're fragile.**_

_**...**_

**Chapter sixteen**

It was a matter of concentration, of foreseeing the next moves – hers but also her opponent's – until the ballet of pieces ceased by a snappy movement of her wrist. And that sensation of triumph spreading in her body; exploding in a bright smile that would light up her features. But the end was still too far and she had to remain focused on the chessboard.

Don't dream of glory when the fight is still going on.

The knight. She had to move the knight. Without a word, she obeyed to herself then looked up before pressing the game clock. Impassive, she locked her eyes with Leonore's and waited.

The chess contest was going well so far. From table one, she had moved to table five after winning all her games. Two more and she would be crowned like in the old days. Playing chess was a tradition at Rugby School that all the students excelled at but if there was one thing that distinguished Maura from the rest of the crowd, it was her quiet urge to impose herself and prove everyone her evident supremacy. The reason why she was here and breathing.

With calm, Leonore studied the situation of the pieces on the board and pouted. She might have chosen to not get a professional career, Maura knew how incisive she still was. And smart. It was always safer for you to have her by your side.

"Hmm... Watch out your queen, Maura. Looks like one more time, you are about to lose her."

Leonore's words cruelly lacked subtlety to the scientist's taste who clenched her teeth but remained as quiet as she could. She had to focus on the game and nothing else. Trying to regroup herself, she cast one very furtive glance at Jane sat a few tables away. The Italian was leaned over her board, her brow furrowed. Meanwhile, Leonore talked again.

"But well, what can I say? Some people never learn. You must simply be slower than the average."

It resounded loud, echoing in the quiet room and all of a sudden thirty heads were staring at their table; astounded.

In an instinctive gesture, Leonore was holding her cheek, red; burning from Maura's slap. A few seconds passed by before the blonde's chess opponent reacted.

"Dyke!"

The pieces flew away – queens included – as Maura stood up and knocked over the table in anger. In a fluid movement and succumbing to the boiling sensation that had suddenly exploded in her stomach – not caring much about anything anymore – she threw herself on Leonore and made her hit the ground under the shocked gasp of the contestants.

"You're gonna pay for it, you, fucking bitch!"

...

After the cacophony of the past hour, finding back the quietness of their room was strange; deafening. Uncomfortable, Maura moved on the couch and tried to avoid Jane's gaze.

The brunette had sat on the small coffee table right in front of her and kept on biting her lower lip as if she were looking for a way to start their inevitable conversation. Maura pressed the ice pack on her bruised cheekbone. She made a face, repressed a moan of pain. As gently as possible, Jane approached a hand – tilted her head on a side – and frowned at the injury.

"You'll feel better in a few hours..."

Maura snorted – rolled her eyes – and sighed loudly. Before her silence, Jane kept on talking; a smile slightly playing now on her lips.

"I know you must be pissed because you didn't go all Lao Tchu..."

The blonde shook her head and sat further on the couch against the cushions.

"Tzu, Lao Tzu. _He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know._"

Jane swept away the rectification with a gesture of her hand and nodded.

"Whatever. You kind of lost your nerves and all but I gotta tell you that you never made me be so proud of knowing you. That bitch totally deserved it and may I add, your uppercut has greatly improved too."

Maura made a face, divided before the obvious compliment. Jane's eyes were glimmering in delight – like a child on Christmas Eve – and she looked enthusiastic. The woolen shawl slid down the scientist's shoulders as she shrugged and mumbled away her uncertainty.

"I am afraid that we will disagree on the education of our children."

The words literally escaped from her lips and before she had a chance to take them back, she witnessed how Jane's face turned livid. The comment had taken aback the detective, completely.

"You... You want children with me?"

Jane's hoarse voice had turned into a shaking whisper; full of insecurities. Since their explanation at the swimming-pool a couple of days earlier, they hadn't really adopted back the attitude of a couple. As if unsure – overwhelmed by the context that forced them to be together 24 hours a day – they didn't dare.

"I... It is not what I... I don't know...? Do you?"

Jane swallowed hard. She wasn't ready for such conversation. She had never been, even with people she had dated for a long time. It was all upside down with Maura. Like a patchwork of life moments that only made sense while sewed together; no matter its lack of balance or perfection.

"I... I..."

Words had left her brain. Disarmed, she focused on the warmth that was spreading through her body; Maura's timid smile.

"I don't preach violence, Maur', but I'm glad you stood for yourself. And if one day we have children, then I hope they won't keep their head down before mockeries. There are wiser ways to respond to it but please, don't regret your gesture. It was only fair in the end."

The blonde relaxed at the contact of Jane's lips on hers. She had missed them, had missed the warmth of the Italian's hands brushing her body. The feeling to be alive that emanated from all of this. She let go of the ice pack and concentrated on the embrace. The very first one since she had overreacted at the swimming-pool. It wasn't a new beginning, just the continuation of their logic.

Smiling in Jane's mouth, Maura pulled her friend towards her then passed her legs around her waist. It was evident, now. She could lie to herself as much as she wanted, deep inside the truth was engraved in her flesh.

She was addicted to Jane.

"Ouch!"

Breaking apart reluctantly, Maura brought a hand to her bruised cheekbone and frowned apologetically. The gesture got welcome by a soft giggle from Jane who bent over and – with the most tender care in the world – planted a light kiss over the injury.

"My little badass girl..."


	18. Chapter 17

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, if you have ideas or things you would like to read, I take it all in consideration.**_

**...**

**Chapter seventeen**

She felt the hand slide on her lower stomach just as Jane's leg settled against hers and the morning kiss on her neck eluded a smile on her lips. The brunette's body was hot on her back, smooth. Fine, Maura didn't move and let her partner's caresses grow bolder.

Light – stolen kisses – fingers brushing the honey blonde's breasts and soon Jane smiled brightly in the depths of the scientist's neck as she teased her partner; drawing invisible circles on her inner leg with her fingertips.

It was early in the morning – the light still bare and timid – and the house quiet, the corridors enjoying the last hours of sleep before the loud routine of the day to wrap it up. Lost in her bubble, Maura was floating above the world – at the mercy of Jane's ministrations – and nothing else mattered anymore. A delicate torture from which moans and sighs gave rhythm to the exhilaration of her sensations; powerful feelings she gladly succumbed to through the biting of her lower lip.

They didn't need to speak. Somehow, the symbiotic relation that linked them resulted enough so they could understand and read each other's needs easily. And it was new, for Maura.

New and addicting.

…

"Jane, I would like you to meet Mrs. Lauren Chapman who was my Literature teacher for years, here. Lauren... Jane Rizzoli, from the Boston Police Department."

Barely paying attention to the way she had put a hand on the Italian's lower back and the other one on her stomach, Maura smiled brightly at the woman standing in front of them.

Jane nodded politely and tended her hand to the teacher. Their stay at Rugby School was coming to an end and she was finally meeting in person those who had taught Maura instead of all these ex-classmates she wasn't sure what to think about in the end.

"Detective, I presume? It is a pleasure to meet you... And a delight to finally see our Maura back, here."

Dancing on her feet – suddenly uncomfortable in her evening dress – the brunette offered a timid smile and cursed herself for not finding the right words to start a proper conversation with. Maura had been nice to not say anything but deep inside, Jane knew that she had probably embarrassed her more than once. All this wasn't her world, from the conventionalism of upper social classes to traditions she didn't know.

It was hard to fit in when one hadn't grown in the same sphere.

Therefore and one more time, she remained awfully quiet; offering a nod – a smile – from time to time as the scientist kept on talking rather eagerly to her ex-teacher. Perhaps it was better like that.

Once the woman turned around another group of students, Jane cast a glance at the room and frowned as her hand didn't find the item she was looking for in her purse.

"I have forgotten my cell at the house, Maur'... Do you mind if I go get it? Not that I'm expecting any kind of call but we never know."

The blonde nodded and watched her friend leave the cafeteria before going towards Violet who was in full talk with a mathematics teacher.

…

The breeze of the evening made Jane shiver as she walked down the path that led to the house. Quiet – reminding her of earlier in the morning when Maura's long sighs against her cheek had been the only sounds around – the campus looked almost abandoned. Everyone was at the post-dinner party, music vaguely floating in the air as the wind kept on blowing.

Everyone or so.

"Ha! Mohammed Ali's coach..."

Leonore slowed down and rose an amused eyebrow as she came to cross Jane on the narrow path. Her bruise was still quite evident - near her eye - but her long raven hair still managed to hide a large part of it.

"You aren't at the dinner?"

The woman snorted, rolled her eyes. Jane didn't understand what her problem with Maura was. They hadn't been rivals nor friends and as far as she knew, the medical examiner hadn't done anything at all apart from staying in her corner; quiet before the bullying allusions. Until the day before. It had taken the blonde twenty years to finally react and put an end to it. A tad violently but still...

"I had forgotten my glasses... Which I need since your wacko girlfriend literally destroyed my contact lenses."

Unable to control herself properly – feeling a wave of anger boil in her lower stomach - Jane made a few steps towards Leonore and stared at her menacingly.

"Don't. Call. Her. A. Wacko. How many times do I have to tell you? Unless I now need to ruin your glasses so the message gets to your head properly."

Not an inch of fear passed through Maura's ex-classmate's eyes. On the contrary, she seemed to nourish herself from the anger she stirred up in her interlocutors. She laughed away Jane's remark and shrugged while passing her tongue over her lips.

"Come on, admit it. Maura is weird."

The sugarcoat tone of voice she had used hurt the detective. Vehemently, Jane shook her head then bit the inside of her cheek to repress words that she would eventually regret. She couldn't afford to go and find herself in the same situation as Maura had been the day before.

"And so what? Yes, Maura is a weirdo..."

Perhaps if the wind hadn't been blowing so hard, both women would have heard the steps coming from their right and everything would have been different. Then their conversation would have ceased – a tad abruptly – and they would have gone separate ways as Maura would have stepped into view, Jane's cell phone in hand; remembering suddenly she had put it in her own purse as they had left their room.

But such scenario didn't happen. Instead, the honey blonde – hidden by a tree - recognized her friend's hoarse voice. The words passed underneath her skin, icily. They rushed through her veins and pierced her heart before making it explode into a thousand pieces. Atrociously hurt, she didn't wait and turned on her heels to run away in the dark; tears of shame burning her cheeks.

"Or better said, she is a _tad_ weirdo but who cares? But she is also the most amazing person I have met in my life and if you aren't smart enough to realize how incredible she is then you're missing something that could – perhaps – make a difference in your existence. Just as she is doing with mine."

Perhaps if Maura hadn't rushed away in the middle of the night – invaded by bitter tears and a feeling of betrayal reducing her heart to ashes – everything would have been different. She would have heard Jane's honest words, a sincere confession she had never made out loud before to anyone. The scientist would have realized how much she meant to the Italian even if Jane rarely opened herself so clearly in the end for being clumsy; uncomfortable with the expression of her feelings. And the night would have been bright, sweet.

But such scenario didn't happen and unaware of Maura's sudden sorrow, Jane shook her head at Leonore before resuming her walk towards the house. Light and serene. Thinking about nothing but her friend and the undeniable feelings she had for the blonde.


	19. Chapter 18

_**Author's note: thank you all for the reviews. As for the chapters, they are always between 1,200 and 1,400 words so they barely change in length actually (and the last ones were longer than the previous ones). **_

_**...**_

**Chapter eighteen**

She had looked everywhere – under the bed, behind a pile of magazines abandoned on the coffee table – but her cell phone had remained invisible. Confused, Jane made it back to the main building hoping Maura could help her find the electronic device. The lights of the large hall were now dimmed, couples dancing to the rhythm of a slow song. The brunette reached her table. Most of the guests had left to go and chat to other groups. Violet was the only one still there, sat on a chair; looking at the crowd from a distance. For a few seconds, Jane wondered if the artist ever took part in any social interacting.

"Have you seen Maura?"

As much as she squinted her eyes and scanned the room meticulously, the Italian couldn't see her. She wasn't on the dance floor nor at any other table around.

"You didn't cross her? She went after you as soon as she realized that she was carrying your phone in her purse."

Violet sounded as surprised as Jane. There was only one path that led from the main building to all the houses. She should have seen her, no matter what.

Like an old instinct that would never disappear – even long after she would have retired – the marks of every single detective that weighed on their nights and stole their dreams, a latent panic began to settle in her head. The beats of her heart sped up as a red light echoed a blaring alarm.

Something had happened to Maura.

For once the expression of her feelings must have embraced her features explicitly enough because as soon she opened her mouth to talk, Violet stood up – nodded – and guided her towards the exit. But it was immense, a whole park plunged in the dark. And if the scientist weren't at her house then a million possibilities could be the right one.

"I will go South while you go North? Perhaps she simply enjoyed the soft breeze and decided to go for a walk. She liked the river, Jane. Go that way."

Jane nodded and without saying a word headed down the path absorbed by the darkness of the night. It wasn't reassuring at all, now that she thought about it. If she remembered well Maura's explanations, a curfew prevented the students from leaving their houses after 8pm. Had girls ever been assaulted there, in the bushes? If so, the brunette was certain that it was the kind of story that such a prestigious school would hide. The reputation to defend was too important to ever be darkened by such dramas.

"Maura? Are you there?"

Jane's voice resounded weak; shaking. Too fragile. It wasn't normal. The honey blonde would have not gone for a walk without telling anyone before, starting with the detective. No.

She might have gone in some fight with Leonore, her sudden disappearance was out of character.

Later Jane would say that nothing happened by accident, that even if at times we could hardly find any reason to an event there was still a sign; something that made things occurred and why. She didn't hear anything, though; no wind in the trees, no humming in the night. But she nonetheless turned her head and saw the light.

It was coming through a weeping-willow, behind the branches. The swimming-pool. Her curiosity now piqued, Jane bypassed the tree and stopped as she spotted a petite frame sat by the waters, indoor.

"What the hell...?"

…

The door hadn't been forced. Did they never lock the buildings, at night? Jane frowned. Why would they do that? The gates were closed, students carefully looked after at the houses.

The typical smell of chlorine welcomed her as she stepped inside. The main door leading to the pool was open. She quietly walked in but stopped right away as Maura looked up and locked her eyes with her dark ones. The medical examiner's mascara had melted into a dark river that embraced red cheeks and puffy eyes. Sobs shaking her shoulders uncontrollably as her bare feet kept on coming and going in the waters.

It took Jane a while to come back to reality and finally move. She rushed to the blonde, panicked. Lost.

"Maura, what's wrong? What are you doing here? Why..."

Her incessant questions died abruptly in the air as the scientist stared at her icily. She didn't look in pain but angry, incredibly angry.

"Go away. Pack your stuff and go away."

Jane laughed nervously. Nothing was really making sense and for a tiny second, she wondered if she weren't in the middle of a strange nightmare. Until Maura resumed her talk and the Italian felt the pain in her chest.

"I don't want to see you ever again."

As much as it was troubling, the brunette pretended the opposite and casually enough, she took off her stilettos before settling by the pool; letting her bare feet caress the surface of the water. Lightly as a child would do, she shrugged away the remark.

"Sorry but you will have to stick with me."

Almost insolent, Maura rose an eyebrow and snorted. But the truth was that the same pain – oddly warm – kept on weighing on her chest. And it hurt, quietly enough.

"No, I won't. Not this time, not anymore. I am sorry but... I am tired of constantly losing myself in all these ridiculous hopes that end up smashing me back on the ground as soon as I start thinking that, you know... Maybe this time it will be different...?"

Jane remained silent, if only because she wasn't sure where the blonde was going. Her speech was clear yet confusing.

"Leonore, Mary... You are just like them in the end, aren't you? Even if I really don't understand why you keep on being around me. At least _they_ have the decency to not pretend to like me."

Jane shook her head and ignored the way Maura's words didn't make much sense to her.

"I don't like you... I love you."

The blonde laughed. Loudly. Her head leaned backwards but as she resumed her initial position, new tears were glimmering in her eyes.

"Then we don't share the same definition of such concept. Loyalty and betrayal either as a matter of..."

And then Jane lost her patience. Just like that, without any warning.

"What the hell are you talking about, Maur?"

The scientist opened her arms wide – as if she were welcoming someone – and smiled ironically through her cries.

"I heard you... Big news! I heard you talk to Leonore when you crossed each other on the path. I was just behind you. Sorry. The _weirdo _heard you."

Jane shrugged. Hands on her lap, she didn't feel fine. Almost lonely, vulnerable.

"What? I didn't say... Okay, I said that you were kind of weird but this isn't new. On multiple times, I've told you – directly – that yes, you were a bit... Different. Why do you take it so bad, now? And... If you heard me when I was on the path, it means you also... You also heard the rest, right?"

The delicate feeling of vulnerability the Italian was experiencing melted into a deep timidity as she fully realized where they now stood. She had never said it to Maura, had never confessed her anything like that. Because it hadn't hit her before they had kissed; before they had crossed the lines of their friendship.

"One painful comment at a time. I left immediately after it."

Jane bit her lower lip, shook her head. Palms on the edge of the pool, she focused on the reflection of her face in the water; her whole figure.

"So I will have to say it again... As much as you are sort of weird, you are the only one around in my life who makes sense. Perhaps it's not evident but... You know... You're the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me, Maura. And I'm sorry I didn't say this earlier to you. I'm stupid. I thought you knew it already...!"

Jane stopped moving her feet and counted until five before looking up at Maura. A tiny gap was separating them yet the brunette wanted nothing but to make it come to an end. Still, the scientist swallowed hard; her eyes fixed on her friend. Her face didn't betray the slightest feeling.

It scared Jane.

"I mean it, Maur'. I mean every single thing I've said so far... You're... You're my light, Maura Isles. I owe you my smiles."


	20. Chapter 19

_**Author's note: thanks a lot for all the reviews! Since there will be a sequel, it might be possible that all the questions don't find an answer in this story or at least that I come back on them later. **_

_**...**_

**Chapter nineteen**

"You're ready?"

Sat on the edge of the bed – hands on her lap, quiet – Maura nodded at Jane and smiled. As a matter of fact, that smile had appeared long hours before. Little by little. Imperceptibly. Until she had realized it was there, engraved on her lips.

She lacked self-confidence but she wasn't the only one. Jane did as well, except she kept it for herself – for those intimate moments nobody could witness – and she was good at hiding it. Maura wasn't. Her incapacity to lie always ended up winning over the rest.

"Good!"

With a frank gesture, the Italian zipped her bag and put it aside. She grabbed her sunglasses, cast a last glance at the room. They both had packed. Soon – in a few hours – they would be back to London and board on the flight that would take them to Boston. And Rugby School would seem so far.

Many things had happened which consequences needed time and patience to be fully understood and – most of all – lived; experienced. Hopefully it would go smoothly, less bumpy than the way everything had started. She had come to support Maura without even thinking about it twice yet their new relation made sense, now.

These feelings, the odd certainty that her life finally owned the logic she had been looking for. It was all there and had probably been for a long while already.

The scientist stood up – grabbed Jane's hand, pressed it tenderly – before leading her out of the room in silence. As they stepped outside of the house, a bright and warm sun embraced their frames. It was one of these beautiful mornings when everything seemed to go as it should; when the sky was blue and you had no reason to not put a smile on your lips.

The day before, Maura would have hesitated. For long minutes, she would have debated – if only in her head – about the attitude to adopt, the one that seemed the most appropriate. But the words pronounced by Jane – the open and loud confession by the pool – had drastically changed things. It had ceased to be precarious. Somehow, to an extent.

The breakfast buffet had been dressed by The Field – school banners floating in the breeze – as music rose in the air from loud speakers installed nearby. As they arrived hand in hand, some people looked up – stopped talking – but nobody said anything. What was to say, anyway? As if sensing that Maura was getting a little tensed, Jane tightened her grip on the blonde's hand. Discreetly. Perhaps it was all what the medical examiner needed; a gesture from time to time that would assure her that she wasn't lonely.

"Will we have a chance to see you back in London soon?"

Matthew turned out to be the first one addressing them. Jane reminded him quite well from the evening out at the pub. Maura and him had talked – enthusiastically enough – about medicine. She hadn't seen him back since then. Too many people around, a profusion of activities and meetings to attend.

"I would love to. Perhaps in the fall... I have a couple of conferences scheduled in Europe by then but I would like to take a few days off as well to enjoy my stay with Jane."

At the call of her name, the detective snapped her head and looked at Maura. The words had come up with fluidity – and logic – as if it had always gone that way. As if they were a single entity. A couple. Officially.

The night before, Maura hadn't said anything. Sat by the edge of the swimming-pool – in tears, shaken up by a wave of powerful feelings – she had let Jane's words pass underneath her skin and reach every single organ of her body. She had fed herself of them and once them all assembled in her head, had relaxed in these arms she didn't want to leave ever again. Something had changed, all of a sudden. And it started making sense.

A teacher interrupted the conversation and soon enough, Jane found herself alone with Matthew as Maura left to talk to a few other people. Smiling at him forcefully, the brunette grabbed a plate and began to fill it.

"If you ever plan on coming to Boston, let us know. You won't get better guides to the gloomiest areas of the city! You know... Work and all. Leave the gruesomed stories to the detectives!"

Matthew laughed and cast a glance on his right. Leonore was there with Charles and a few other people Jane had assimilated as close friends of the couple. The brunette didn't say a word and looked down at her plate. Within a few hours, Rugby School would be behind her and after all the things that had kept on happening, it was better to now remain quiet about it.

"She is simply jealous, don't pay attention to her. She has always been. Some things just don't change much..."

Matthew's comment took Jane aback. Of course, he was alluding to Leonore and her peculiar antics. Yet he was the first one who actually presented things that way around.

"Jealous of Maura? Even back then when you were all pupils, here? How come? I mean, I wasn't here but Maur' told me about it and how she was quite... Lonely... What's to envy in that? She was the odd ball people made fun of."

The young man shrugged and poured himself a large portion of beans in a plate.

"I remember that and how nobody wanted to team up with Maura for the various classes we had. But... I don't know. Obviously, Leonore has always seen things differently. Perhaps she envies the strong independence that emanates from Maura. She wasn't tender with Elizabeth either when they... You know. I'm not saying that she pushed Violet's sister to kill herself but she surely didn't help her at all. Maura handled the critics a lot better... And to be completely honest with you, things are a little unsteady between Leonore and Charles right now. It probably hurts her to see that every couple around isn't going through a crisis; starting with you and Maura."

Furtively, Jane looked at Leonore and swallowed hard. She hated the woman for all the things she had done to Maura, for all the pain inflicted. She would never change her mind about that, no matter what. But still, the Italian knew way too well what it was like to be part of a couple that fell apart.

"We... I'm afraid you got the wrong idea, here. It's not idyllic between Maura and I. It's not... It's not so easy, at times."

Actually, it had never been so far. Everything had been unplanned and thus thrown in the middle of life with all the fragility of unprepared events. They needed to build something out of it. Everything had yet to be done.

Matthew shrugged. He seemed genuinely surprised by the half-word confession.

"But still, there's a strength that emanates from the two of you. The same one as the one of a reed. Rain and storm will make it sag but it never breaks because its roots are hard."


	21. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

The plastic bag landed loudly on the table, forcing Maura to abandon the reading of _The London Times _and to frown at the package. Jane grabbed the chair opposite the blonde's and sat down in a long sigh.

"I have three cents left. Honestly, I guess I could have hardly done any better."

The coins rolled on the table and crashed against the scientist's coffee in a metallic melody. Curious to see what was in the bag, Maura bent over and opened it; laughed out loud.

"You know, Jane... Cadbury do commercialize their products in the USA as well. There was no need to literally buy everything in sight at the airport store."

Vaguely offended, the Italian moved on her seat – crossed her arms – and shrugged. A pout played on her lips, allowing her to gain some time to find a good reply to put in. Except the words didn't come up at all and she ended up scoffing.

"You could have changed your British pounds into American dollars anytime. There was no need to put all your savings in chocolate bars... As much as they are quite tasty."

As if to accompany her words, Maura grabbed one of the Cadbury and bit into it.

They had left Rugby School for a few hours and everything already looked different. Oddly enough, it seemed like the world was finally catching back on them after ten days of having lived in some sort of a bubble. Out of time, out of everything. They hadn't realized it until Heathrow had wrapped them up – in its noisy routine – and they had been taken out of guard. Soon they would board and fly away, back to Boston.

"Are you scared?"

Jane's question sounded fair, honest. Maura slightly froze then passed her tongue over her lips, looked on a side before shrugging.

"... Apprehensive..."

The brunette intended a reassuring smile but it only resulted pale, shy enough. They hadn't alluded to it yet but it nonetheless weighed on their shoulders, on their minds. What would happen, now? Were they supposed to make a special announcement and if so say what? They barely knew what was going on. It seemed complicated – if not just risky – to go any further in the process.

And yet they didn't have much of a choice about it.

"It's gonna be okay. _We're_ gonna do okay."

Maura nodded – more out of politeness than anything else – and watched how Jane pressed her hand in a tender gesture. Perhaps it was incredibly stupid of them and their apprehension had no reason to exist but it was still there, growing as the hours that separated them from Boston disappeared.

"I... Yes... Yes, you are right. I guess...!"

The honey blonde laughed nervously and bit her lower lip. She wanted to believe Jane yet knowing the Italian herself wasn't convinced by her own words but they had no plan whatsoever; no idea at all. She might have assumed that the past two weeks had been tough, Maura was suddenly realizing that it was just the beginning. Angela would pick them up at the airport. Would they hold hands? Would they... In exhaustion before these wonders that remained unanswered, the medical examiner shook her head.

"You never told me why you came here in the first place, how you took such decision."

Jane's lips formed an "oh" of surprise before melting into a bright smile. Her cheeks reddened, as if the question had suddenly intimidated her slightly. She grabbed a chocolate bar out of the plastic bag then began to play with it. Nervously enough.

"When you called me, I knew you weren't fine and the truth is... The truth is that I couldn't stand the idea of you being somehow in pain without me being able to help you go through it. I know you don't need anyone 'cause you're independent and such but it hurt me. It hurt me to know you were so far and so lonely."

Maura remained still for a few seconds as the explanation settled in her head and set off a whole series of reactions in her body. Her heart beating faster, a warm feeling spreading over. Then, she bent over the table and cupped Jane's face before planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"Now I hope when I go back to the BPD it won't be to pack my things because I might have forgotten to stop by Cavanaugh's office to ask him for a few days off, actually..."

Uncomfortable enough, Jane laughed away her own remark while Maura's eyes widened into a deep – frank – panic. The blonde shrieked.

"Excuse me?"

The brunette rolled her eyes, rose her hands in the air as if to plead guilty once and for all.

"We were on that crime scene when I... Well... When I decided that my place wasn't there so I basically said goodbye to Korsak and Frost before rushing back to my place to book a flight and pack a suitcase. It was quite a spontaneous move."

Maura was now horrified. Unless anger was slowly – but surely enough – embracing her features. Jane could hardly say except the blonde's reaction wasn't extremely positive all in all.

"I couldn't care less about getting fired if it meant I could help you, Maur'. That's... Call it whatever you want, stubbornness or stupidity, but that's the truth and I can't change it. Or at least I don't want to."

Maura took a last sip of her coffee and rose an eyebrow unconvincingly.

"Oh, it isn't stupid, Jane. No... It is _extremely_ irresponsible... Yet the sweetest thing you could tell me... But I prefer to warn you: there is no way I work with another crime unit team so you'd better stick to the BPD for many, many years from now."

The brunette was about to reply when a feminine voice in the microphone announced the boarding of their flight. Immediately, both women stood up and grabbed their belongings. As Maura rose her bag, something slid out of it and landed on the table. She picked it up, read the card.

_Alumni Dr. Maura Dorthea Isles – and guest_

_Invitation for the 500th anniversary of Rugby School_

_From July, 19th to July, 29th _

_House: Rupert Brooke_

Her invitation. She remembered how Jane had been holding it at Logan Airport when the brunette had driven her to her flight. They hadn't talked much, that day. Maura had been too stressed and unsure; a bit sad to leave that life she liked so much behind if only for a few days. She was proud of whom she had become, what she had built all by herself in Boston. A career, friends. A second family. She didn't want to go away from all of this. Never.

"You ready, Maur'?"

The blonde looked up and nodded at Jane. Furtively, she slid back the card in her bag and followed her partner; grabbed her hand. Was it the end? As they headed towards their gate, Maura bit her lip and analyzed her own wonder.

No, it wasn't the end at all. On the contrary. It might have looked blurry - and somehow fragile - it was just the beginning.

Casting a furtive glance at Jane and how determined she looked, Maura nodded to herself.

Yes. It was just the beginning. _Their_ beginning.

The End

_To be continued..._

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews that came to highlight my day all along this story, the first chapter of the sequel will be posted on Tuesday; I hope you will like it._**


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